Dreams
by Blaise Blackheart
Summary: Robin's dreams might just be the death of him, especially when they're about Raven. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:** Teen Titans belongs to DC Comics and Warner Bros._

_**Set:** After Season 5._

_**A/N** I am Australian. We follow British-English spelling, not American-English. Common differences include the use of 'ou' instead of 'o' (colour, flavour),'s' instead of 'z' (realise, apologise), 'c' instead of 's' (offence, defence, but not defensive, go figure) and 't' instead of 'ed' (burnt, dreamt, only in certain cases, cookt is not a word.). __Please also note, this is written in first person. As such, there are some deliberate grammatical errors in there to increase the feeling that we're inside Robin's mind. No one speaks (or thinks in Robin's case) grammatically perfect._

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Chapter 1.**

It all started with a dream.

Yes, it was one of _those_ dreams. I'm not going to apologise for it, I'm nearly seventeen, an adolescent male, I'm entitled to dream. It's not like I can control them. _Batman_ has those dreams too, even when he has Catwoman or Wonder Woman scratching his itch.

It had the whole hog, lustful whisperings, ample bosom before my face, vague sense of a person behind the smouldering sexiness. You know the ones. What got me was I woke up calling a name I never thought I would, not in that sense. Raven's is not a name you call out after a dream like that, you're likely to die before you sleep again.

Yes. You heard me. Raven starred in my dream.

I woke up drenched. I'll let you figure out the particulars of that, but most of it was sweat. After all, I don't see Raven that way, or at least, I didn't think I did. There was an ick factor involved and a moment of panic that Raven would somehow know. She's been in my head, after all.

But this dream, it's got me thinking. And, knowing my brain, thinking can be a dangerous thing. Batman trained me well.

Raven, well, we are friends. That's all. I never really thought we'd be more, that we even could be more. I didn't realise my brain thought of her as a woman, rather than a sister. And after this, I don't think I could go back to thinking of her as a sister.

So many possibilities. It was like my sexuality had awakened in one dream, all my senses honed in on her. I was suddenly remembering a hundred different things about Raven. How she wore her hair, how she chewed her lips when she read, how she had her tea every morning and how I'd often make it for her without realising it. She would twirl a strand of hair between her fingers, her legs curled underneath her when we had movie night. How much I'd missed her when we'd all gone our separate ways around the world for a while, and hadn't realised until I saw her again. How nice she'd felt when she'd impulsively hugged me after we'd defeated her father.

Every time I thought her name, there was this odd little thumb in my chest and my stomach filled with annoying butterflies. Raven. Raven. Raaaaven. Ravenravenravenravenraven.

Oh, man.

I was crushing on Raven. How the hell could I be crushing on Raven? That was just insane. This was Raven. I love Raven, as a friend. I like her quirks, her tiny smiles. She always knows what I'm thinking. She's an ace chess player. She likes, strangely enough, to listen to cello music. Nice deep tones, she told me once, she likes the melodic way a cello spoke to her. She reads bad poetry (well, I think it's bad), mournful stuff like Edgar Allan Poe. She goes out of her way to hang out with Starfire and do girly stuff. She tolerates Beast Boy and calms him when he gets too psycho. She helped Cyborg improve the T-car and likes talking mechanics. I've caught her playing skank ball.

It was Raven. You don't just crush on Raven.

Now, I just know what you're going to say. What about Starfire?

Well, Starfire and me, we're best friends. I love her, I really do. She's fun to be around and she gets me. I can talk to her about anything and she can talk to me too. But, despite Cyborg's insinuations, we're not a couple. She doesn't flirt with me, not like other girls have when we walk down the street. Every laugh, every word from Starfire, it's all sincere. We don't stroll around hugging or holding hands or making out in dark corners of the Tower. I don't think it's even crossed Star's mind that we could be doing that, if she wanted to.

As she said, a girlfriend is 'a female with whom you have a pleasant and special association, including the sharing of enjoyable recreation and occasionally the buying of bountiful floral arrangements'. Well, that particular sentence applies to both Starfire and Raven. Except for the flowers.

Is this dream about Raven a betrayal of Starfire? No, I don't think so. I've seen Star when she goes gaga over a guy. She doesn't think of me that way. Okay, yes, she hugs me. But she also hugs Beast Boy and Cyborg too, it's just her way of expressing herself. I don't take Starfire's hugs as a hidden message that she's into me in that way. So there have been a couple of meaningful looks toward each other, the possibility of frenzied kissing probably, but we both step back when the time comes. What do you think that says?

It's not like I don't like Starfire as a girl. I do. I like her very much. Hell, who wouldn't? She's got a great body, she's got a wonderful, sparkling innocent personality which would drive any guy wild.

Except me. Because for me, Star's my best friend, and I don't have a lot of those. She and I, we could make that step, if we really wanted to and I bet it would be incredibly easy to fall in love with her, but there's something stopping both of us. I think it's the same reason for her as it is for me. Best friends are hard to come by.

I don't want to ruin anything I have, with either girl, by becoming a couple. Could you imagine what that would do to team dynamics? A girlfriend for Robin. I'd be compromising everything, just like Batman always said. Don't date a team member.

I didn't even know if Raven liked me, in that way. If she _could_ like me. She'd fought so long to control her emotions and being in a relationship meant she would have to trust someone else with them. I'd be fighting against her nature, fighting my own controlling nature too, every step of the way.

Best just forget about it all. Crush on Raven all you like, stupid brain, but I'm not letting it get any further than that.

After an hour of trying to get back to sleep after this dream, I gave it up as a bad joke and wandered out to the common room for a drink. Yes, I changed first, God. Must you? It's a natural process; all guys go through it, nothing to be ashamed of. We just don't talk about it. Get off the topic. As I was saying, I went to the common room for a drink.

Raven was there, curled up on the sofa with a hot chocolate in hand and reading a thick, leather bound book.

I thought for sure I was dead. She's read my mind. She watched my dream. She felt the vibrations in the air or whatever it is she does to just know things.

She looked up, smiled in her own quiet way and said, "You're up early."

I was a deer in headlights for a moment, before I recovered. I am Robin, nothing truly catches me off guard. That's what I tell myself, anyway. "Can't sleep. Nightmares."

She lifted an eyebrow. "Really?" she asked, and closed her book, a finger holding her place. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Yes, I did. I really wanted to tell her how she was writhing above me not an hour ago, begging me to— No. Don't go there. It'll open a door you can't close. "Not really."

Raven shrugged. "Suit yourself," she said, returning to her book. "I made some tea not long ago, the kettles still hot."

"Ah… thanks."

I'd like to say I didn't have any. That I got my water and got out of there as fast as possible. It would have been the smart thing to do. But when it comes to girls, I guess I'm not that smart.

I plonked myself down on that sofa beside her and put my feet up on the coffee table in front of us.

She glanced at me, quirked her lips up and shifted so she was no longer curled up with her book and put her bare feet up beside mine, her boots already discarded on the floor.

Raven doesn't smile, not like Starfire does. And that's okay, a simple quirk of her lips is enough. Raven also rarely cries. Raven rarely shows any emotion. But we're her friends, she knows she doesn't have to. A subtle shift in her body language shows she's not angry that I've invaded her space or am intruding on her reading. She's quite open to the company.

I lifted my chin at her, waggled my eyebrows and said, "How you doin'?"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Spare me."

I can tell she's playing along. Her words don't have icicles around them. "What are you reading?"

She closed the book on her finger again so I could see the title, not that it made much sense, it was all odd symbols.

"Right. Thanks. Very helpful."

She laughed. A 'Raven' laugh, Beast Boy calls them, consists of a tiny smile, a snort and a tiny 'teehee' sound. "It's a spell book."

"What language is that?"

"Azarathian."

"Oh."

She must have seen my want to talk because Raven sighed and put the book on her lap. "It's got a few new techniques I've wanted to try. Now that I'm free of my father's influence, I've got the time to develop a few things I let slide."

That sounded interesting. "Like what?"

Raven shook her head. "I'm not ready to share any of them until I'm certain I can do it. Set that training gleam in your eye elsewhere, Robin."

I sighed. "Fair enough. Pink?"

Raven blinked at me. "What?"

I nodded down at her feet.

She seemed embarrassed, because she curled her toes. "Believe it or not," she said with a stern frown. "I am a girl and sometimes I like to have pretty toes."

She's cute when she's flustered… where the hell did that thought come from? "I wasn't complaining."

"Besides, they're not pink, they're rose," she muttered.

"Well, that makes all the difference, then," I said, not really seeing the difference myself. And because she made the comment first I told her, "I think they're pretty."

Raven made a huffy sound, so I dropped it. One needed to know when to stop teasing Raven and unlike Beast Boy, I stopped way before that line.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye, trying to figure out what my subconscious was trying to tell me. Raven was pretty, I'd always thought that anyway, but lately she seemed more beautiful. She smiled more often, but that wasn't what I was seeing. She had her whole life before her to do with what she would, now she was no longer hostage to her father's will. She had chance to relax, and live and it suited her immensely.

"You know, we really haven't had much chance to talk lately. How _are_ you doing?"

She lifted an eyebrow at me. "Fine."

Not really the response I wanted. "Fine doesn't cut it. C'mon, I'm asking as a friend. We've been gallivanting around the world and a lot of crap happened and I want to make sure you're okay."

Raven narrowed her eyes. "As a friend… Robin, I really am fine. You've helped more than you know. You and the others have just been so positive about Trigon and everything that's happened I can't help but tap into that. It's nice knowing my powers are mine, rather than them being an extension of his. I always wondered about that. It's given me a new look on life."

"Awesome," I replied, thrilled for her.

She smiled.

"You seem more relaxed," I commented. "It's a good look for you. I like it."

She gave me an odd, undecipherable look. "Thanks."

I yawned and stretched my arms above my head, then placed them along the top of the sofa as I looked out the window. The sun was starting to rise, the horizon turning decidedly pink. There were a few clouds in the sky but I recalled the weather forecast yesterday said today would be 'fine'. I contemplated going for an early morning run. Would be nice way to start the day, get my heart pumping.

"If you were anyone else, I'd think you were putting the moves on me."

"Huh?" I asked, looking over at Raven. She flicked her eyes at my hand, which somehow happened to be right behind her neck, resting on the back of the sofa. Honestly, I don't know what came over me, perhaps it was the dream, but the next thing out of my mouth was, "What if I was?"

Raven lifted an eyebrow. "Really, the old stretch and yawn? I thought you had more class than that."

I sighed. "Yeah, probably," I said, but made no attempt to move my arm. Nor did she ask me to move it. Interesting.

We sat in comfortable silence, watching the sun rise. It's strange; I never feel the need to fill any silence between Raven and me with words. Silence is nice, I enjoy it.

An odd thought occurred to me. "Just curious, you did get all your powers out of us, right? Nothing left over?" That would be a more plausible explanation than me crushing on Raven, if she'd left some residue of herself inside. She'd given a taste of her powers to us to protect us from Trigon when she'd opened the portal to his dimension. I always wondered if she got it all back.

Raven frowned. "Of course. I would never intentionally harm you or the others. I made sure I got everything out. Beast Boy especially, he can't handle my powers."

"And you don't, like, wander into our heads while we dream?"

The same odd, undecipherable look I'd gotten before. "No. Why?"

I shrugged and attempted to appear blasé. "No reason."

"You had a nightmare," Raven stated, twisting in her seat so she could look at me more closely. "Was I in it?"

I couldn't look her in the eye. "It was just a dream."

"You're really nervous about something," Raven said and I cursed inwardly. "It's not like you to get worked up over a dream. Unless it's a Slade dream."

I frowned. Slade. Yes. He could mess with my dreams like that. But Slade was gone, it couldn't be him. Eww, that just made me feel icky, a sex dream about Raven put in my mind by Slade. I shuddered. "No, it wasn't Slade. It was just a dream."

"Robin, you're easy to read," Raven told me. "And since I've already been in your mind, you broadcast quite clearly." She lifted a hand, her fingers pointed toward my head. "If you're worried about something, I can—"

Bad, bad! "No!" I moved my head away, lifted my hand from the sofa to catch hers. "It's fine."

Both her eyebrows shot up in surprise. Her cheeks got some colour to them. Her mouth dropped open for a brief moment, then she closed it with a snap. Her eyes widened and she made a sort of croaking noise.

My stomach turned to ice as I realised what was happening. Before I could even think to apologise, she warped out of there so fast she gave my hand portal burn.

Real suave, Robin. Stupid hormones.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

I hid in my office. I mean, really, what can one say to a friend who just happens to feature in one of _those_ sorts of dreams and is also telepathic under the right circumstances? I wasn't even sure how much Raven had read from me and I was still hiding.

I thought about going after her and apologising profusely for my perverted subconscious. Flowers, maybe. Begging definitely. Promises to not do it again, was that something I could even do?

But then I'd think, well, it's also Raven. If she read that much, she'd have read I didn't mean it. That it was an accident and it was my subconscious fucking with me. Even I can't control my dreams. Sure, I probably shouldn't have been broadcasting it…

Oh, kill me now.

Suddenly I was angry. It was Raven's fault, she dared to intrude on my mind when I said everything was fine. It's my mind, I'm allowed to harbour secrets and desires and—

And we're back to embarrassment.

I'm getting nowhere fast.

I'd never given Raven any cause to think of me as anything other than a brother, and she'd certainly never given me any reason to think she wanted to be thought of as anything other than a sister. I really couldn't blame her for vanishing as quickly as she did. I wasn't even sure that I could have explained anything even if I wanted. Did I mention when it comes to girls, I'm not that smart?

So, anyway, I hid in my office, cringing at any sound outside my door, constantly panicked that Raven's retribution would involve the floor turning inky black and swallowing me whole.

She never appeared though. The floor didn't swallow me. The sky didn't rain fire. It was just another day in the Tower, like any other day.

Beast Boy pounded on the door as evening approached, bellowing that he was on the pizza run and did I want anything. I didn't. I slunk out of my office after sunset, grabbed a bite and dashed to my bedroom, successfully avoiding all Titans. Stealth comes in handy sometimes.

It was an uneasy night. The dream returned. It was more vivid this time. Raven's smile, the way she titled her head. Even though I couldn't tell exactly what was being said, the voice weaving through my dreams was hers, the way she spoke, the nuances she used. I woke up feeling breathless.

It's official. I'm fucked.

Morning came and I hid in my office for the second day running. I worked this time, catching up on police reports and budgets from the Mayor's office. A lot of people really don't see what happens behind the scenes as a superhero. Part of my job is to smooth things over with the civilian enforcement. They can't be expected to be able to cope with a super powered criminal, just like my team shouldn't be expected to deal with every day crimes. Not to mention, there's a lot of damage involved when we fight someone, from Beast Boy accidently ramming and breaking a wall when he's a rhino, to the cars Raven plucks off the ground to use as weapons. There's my birdarangs, Cyborg's sonic cannon, Starfire's… well… Starfire. We can be destructive, even if it's for the greater good. Most of the damage is covered by the city's supe insurance, but sometimes we have to cover the difference.

Don't misunderstand the city though; they're glad we're here. We save lives. We're good publicity and the city cashes in on that. There are numerous shops where you can buy Titan inscribed items, including paraphilia, some of it we endorse, most of it we don't. People are just weird like that.

I'll admit it. I'm a coward, hiding away like this. It's better than the alternative. Did I mention I was stalling, or is that painfully obvious?

Around midday there was a knock on the door. After I pealed myself off the ceiling I answered it, nerves running amok.

Starfire was there. I've never been more glad to see her. "Hey!" I said, probably a little too excited.

Starfire beamed. "Greetings, Robin."

"What's up?"

She looked over my shoulder at my computer. "Am I interrupting? I wish to discuss something with you, if you have time."

I looked at the email I'd half typed on the screen. "I really need to finish this email to the Mayor while it's fresh in my head. Give me a sec?"

"Of course."

See, that's what I like about Starfire. Sure, she's quite capable of prying me away from my office if I've become too obsessive about something, (picking me up and throwing me over her shoulder works every time) but she's also willing to give me a minute to finish whatever thought processes I'm under before she does so.

I finished my work quickly, it's surprising what incentive does, and swivelled in my chair to face Starfire, who'd sat on the other desk in my office to wait while I worked. "So, what's up?

Starfire sighed. "Speedy asked me for a date."

I was taken aback. The surge of jealousy I thought should've come, didn't. Strange. "Um... Okay?" Starfire frowned. I hadn't responded like she wanted me too, so I asked, "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

She shrugged, a very Earth-y movement. Kind of weird to see her do it. "I am unsure. He has asked me what I perceive to be an unwarranted number of times and I have always said no."

That surprised me. "Why?"

"He is, as you say, a player, yes? Bumblebee warned me his intentions may not be sincere. I do not wish to become another _goftimar_ on his _greedlebleg_."

"Notch on his belt," I corrected absently.

"Notch on his belt," Starfire repeated. "Yes. I do not wish to become that. Besides, I cannot be certain he does not wish to date me because I am me, or because he assumes we—" she gestured at the two of us "—are doing the dating."

"Do you want me to talk to him? Ask him to back off?"

Starfire frowned. "No. However his advances have confused me."

"Confused, how?"

Starfire tilted her head. "Are we an 'us'? Or are we still Robin and Starfire?"

I swallowed heavily. Not really the talk I wanted to have.

Starfire pressed on, speaking very quickly. I had to concentrate on every word to make sure I understood her. "I have never done the Earthen dating, I do not have anything to compare it to, except for what I have seen in the movies and we are certainly not that. There are newspaper reports speculating about our relationship and if Speedy has the impression that we are such and he wishes the opportunity to steal me away from you—there are our friends to consider and how a relationship would impact them and there are so many of the what ifs and changes and I do not even know if I want to do the dating and…" she took a deep breath, which was good because she was starting to go red. "Oh Robin, I am very confused."

"Ahh—"

"When we were stranded we had a conversation about girlfriend and boyfriend and why I was a girl who was also your friend—"

I frowned. "I thought we sorted that out—"

Starfire got up and started to pace. "Nothing changed between us. Certainly, I did not expect they would, but Bumblebee, she explained a girlfriend is not only someone who you feel a special attachment too, but there are also certain activities they are required to fulfil and—"

Wait, what? "Required?"

"—I have not been completing these activities with you, therefore I could not possibly be a friend who is a girl!"

"Star, slow down!"

"I do not want to lose you as a friend, Robin!" Starfire cried, all but hysterical. "I do not have many and I cherish you! But these activities, they seem rather personal for a human and some of the things Bumblebee suggested, along with things I have seen in the movies should never be performed by anyone unmated."

"Star, you're not going to lose me—"

She didn't appear to be listening. She did, however stop her pacing and looked at me, her eyes filled with tears. I hate it when she gets so upset over something that she cries. "There is so much pressure to perform on Earth, almost more at times then there is on Tamaran. On my planet I would know exactly what is required of me, here I am constantly floundering. Everyone says we are a couple, but I do not do these things with you and I—"

I stood then, intending to try and figure out what was going on. "Star, please slow down, you're not making much sense—"

That was when she kissed me.

Wow. Awkward. I froze up, this was the last thing I'd expected. It wasn't like I thought it would be, kissing Starfire. I didn't feel any different. It was nice, I suppose. Her lips were warm. Aren't kisses supposed to make you feel all tingly and wonderful? I felt… well… unsure. Now I'm really confused.

Starfire pulled away and blinked at me.

I think I blinked back. I was more startled than anything else. I had no clue what to do.

More tears. She hugged herself and began to pace again. "See, I do not know what I am doing! Everything is wrong. If we were in the movies there would be music playing and you would hold me in your arms but you just stand there. If I was anything like the girlfriends I see in the park in the city, I would be making the appropriate noises and acting like I enjoyed it. Bumblebee said prolonged lip contact is wonderful and she looks forward to it with her beau. He makes her stomach flutter like a bird and there is use of the tongue and she says she is floating on 'cloud nine' when they are done. I do not see any clouds, let alone nine and there is nothing fluttering in my stomachs." She hiccupped. "I do not want to do those things with you and I certainly do not want to do them with Speedy or Beast Boy or Cyborg if that is what being a friend who is a girl entails but I cannot see any alternative. I cannot lose you as a friend, Robin."

She was clearly in distress. My heart went out to her and my brain had finally caught up with everything she'd been saying. "Okay, Star, look. No one is requiring that you kiss them. Not me, not Cyborg or Beast Boy and certainly not Speedy. In fact, if he tries and you don't agree, I'll kill him."

Starfire frowned, looking even more confused.

I took her hand. Starfire likes touch, platonic touch, it soothes her in ways I can't explain. Her shoulders relaxed, some of the tension in her face drained away. I sat on the floor, tugging her to join me and we sat opposite each other. I kept her hand, I wanted her calm while I explained a few things about our culture.

"First of all," I said. "You are my best friend. There is nothing that can change that. Ever."

"I am?" she asked in a small voice.

"Yes." I tapped her nose and she gave me a tiny smile. "So stop worrying. Second, there's a difference between a girl who has a friend who's a boy, and a girlfriend who has a boyfriend. In a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, nothing is ever 'required'. It's more… shared. Things they do together—and in a minute you're going to tell me what things Bumblebee told you— are done because they both want to. Kissing included. You should never feel compelled to kiss anyone."

She nodded to show she understood. "Oh. I see. Bumblebee made it sound like—"

I finished her sentence. "You were expected to do things. Well, you're not. People can get in trouble by forcing others to do things they don't want to. Kissing, ahh, prolonged lip contact is very special thing to do between two people who are a couple." I frowned as I considered my next words, trying to judge how they'd be the least hurtful. "Star, you and me, we're friends. I'll always be there for you, but we're not a couple."

She left out a puff of breath. "Thank _X'hal_."

I was taken aback. "What?"

"I love you," Starfire said matter-of-factly. "You are my dearest friend but I do not want us to be anything else other than we are. When I kissed you, it was… odd… was it not?"

Odd was an understatement. "Very."

"It felt like the language transference we did when I first arrived on Earth."

"It hurt less," I said, remembering her shove afterward.

Starfire smiled and nodded. "It was nice, but odd."

"It was nice," I echoed. Well, it was. Sue me for thinking so.

"There has always been something between us," Starfire said. "I thought it would grow in time. A natural progression."

"Me too," I agreed. "I'm surprised it hasn't."

"I remember feeling very upset when you were coerced into the date with Kitten." She sounded slightly melancholy.

"I remember being angry you were going back to Tamaran to get married to a guy you never met."

"Did we wait too long?"

"I don't know. Maybe? Maybe we're happy the way we are right now. I don't want it to change."

"Neither do I."

"You're right about the pressure. There are a lot of people who expect us to be together."

Starfire sighed. "Your world is confusing."

"Leaves us at an impasse."

"Indeed." A pause. "So, you would not be upset if a boy—"

"Not Speedy," I interrupted sternly.

Starfire laughed. "A boy who was not Speedy asked me on a date?"

"No," I replied, after thinking about it for a moment to make sure I really was telling the truth. "As long as he treats you right. And I've told you all about proper dating."

"Agreed."

Just so we were on the same page, I asked, "And, you wouldn't be concerned if I dated a girl?"

Starfire seemed surprised. "Do you have a girl in mind?" she asked and I sensed nothing in her but eager interest.

Oh, dangerous. "Maybe?" I answered.

Starfire gave me a shrewd look. That girl knows more than she lets on. "As long as you treated her 'right' as you say, and she did not force you into it, and it did not change what we have, I would be most happy for you."

That's a lot of conditions, but she was right. "Thanks."

"If you did not, I would quite happily break all your bones for her."

I laughed. "Thanks for that too."

Starfire grinned at me, then blushed. "Ahh, Robin, about the kiss," she began, completely embarrassed.

"How about we go back to the way we were ten minutes ago, before the kiss and act like it never happened?" I suggested.

"Oh, that would be most agreeable," Starfire said, sounding as relieved as I felt.

"Good," I said. "It's settled. Now, why don't you tell me what Bumblebee said, word for word."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

Raven can be scary.

When I have nightmares, I wake up in a cold sweat unable to go back to sleep. When Raven has nightmares, phantoms cross over into our realm and try to kill us while she sleeps. She doesn't do it deliberately, of course. Cyborg, Beast Boy and I hold off the shadows while Starfire braves Raven's room to wake her up. It's not mentioned after that. Star, as far as I know, stays up with Raven and talks her through whatever dream troubled her. Cy, BB and I have never had the guts to ask Raven about it ourselves and I think she'd probably be mortified if she knew the four of us had an alarm specifically designed for Raven's nightmares.

Raven's scary when she's awake too. Wicked Scary ring any bells? Her psyche is a powerful, dangerous weapon. But I trust her. We all do.

Not to say that we don't take precautions. We also have precautions against Starfire's super strength and eyebeam hiccups, Cyborg's delicate internal systems (no magnets above a certain strength, anything that emits a signal must be preapproved – while he can handle these things, the Tower his home, he's entitled to be comfortable) and Beast Boy's nose (daily showers in the Tower are essential). I shudder to think what, ahh... 'the time of the month' must be like for the girls and Beast Boy's nose. It's another of those unmentioned things.

Beast Boy can be quite grown up about a lot of things, when it suits him. Since he is, we can forgive him for his immaturity over others.

I felt better after my long conversation with Starfire yesterday. We set the record straight on a lot of things and I feel stronger in our friendship because of it. I'd like to tell her about my crush on Raven, but some part of me thinks she already knows. One of the main things I got out of the conversation, besides reaffirming the knowledge that Starfire is an amazing friend, is a boost of confidence.

Today, I found myself staring blankly at Raven's door. I have no idea what I'm going to say. I have no idea what Raven's thinking, feeling, anything. I'm going in blind. Completely and utterly defenceless and I hate being defenceless.

I knocked anyway. It's more stupidity than bravery. Starfire said Raven hadn't been out of her room for the past two days too, but that's not uncommon when something's bothering her. At least this time I know what that is.

There's also a certain amount of need to set things right too. A team needs to function, there are nuances between the five of us that cannot be explained but when one of us is out of sync, it affects all of us. I screwed up, I need to man up and face it. I'm doing this for the team.

Yeah, right.

I brought her flowers. Don't ask what possessed me. Raven's not a flower girl. But here I am, standing at her door, holding a bunch of roses and smiling meekly as her door opens.

All that stuff I said before, about Raven being scary? She's scariest when she doesn't say anything at all.

A trickle of sweat dripped down my back. "Um… hi?"

She lifted an eyebrow at me and said nothing.

Thorns dug into my palms because I was clutching the bunch of roses so tight. "I… ah… came to apologise."

She blinked slowly and waited.

"So… ah… sorry," I said and thrust the flowers at her at. Very lame, Robin. Lame, lame, lame.

Raven must've taken pity on me, because she took the flowers and moved away from the door. Not sure if it was an invitation, I hovered at the entrance.

Candles filled her room, floating above the floor at various heights. They weren't lit, but since her room smelt of smoke and incense, they must have been burning before I arrived. There was a runic circle chalked on her carpet in the middle of the room, twelve lit candles in a circle around it. She floated her flowers to her bed and turned back around to face me.

I took a step into her room and stopped. It was easier to escape if the door didn't close behind me. "Look, I'm… ahh… sorry for what you saw in my mind the other morning. I can't control my dreams and I never should have let it affect me or allow it close to the surface so you'd be able to pluck any of it from my brain when I grabbed your hand. I know how in tune to me you are and it was unfair on you to have to witness what my stupid subconscious dreamt up while I was sleeping. Um… you know I would never take advantage of you and—"

She watched me with great concentration as I spluttered through my apology, her expression akin to someone dissecting a frog. Or my emotions. Damn it, she's trying to read me. Or… oh, oh, fuck me, what if she didn't actually see anything.

I gulped. "Ahh… um… you did… um… see… right?"

She gave me a look. "If I didn't your bumbling apology would be rather mute."

"Um…"

"Not to mention it would conveniently let you off the hook."

Hook? I was on a hook? "Er…" Oh, I was so eloquent today. The earth needed to open up and swallow me. A Titan alert. Something. Anything. Please?

"That was hard for me to see."

My shoulders slumped. "I know. Jeeze, I know! It's hard for me too, I didn't think I saw you like that—" Opps. "I don't— I mean—" Yes, Robin, flounder some more, it's very becoming. "Um… They're private dreams. All guys have them, we can't control them and for you to just steal them—" Big whoops.

She narrowed her eyes, her expression calculating.

I was making a right mess of things. "Okay, steal's not the word. But you shouldn't be so eager to jump into my mind."

"You're going to scold _me_," Raven told me, with a disbelieving look.

I cringed. "I have secrets that I'm not ready to share—"

"Secrets that apparently involve me being scantily clad."

"I can't control that!" I protested.

"Well, gee, I've never managed to pick up anything like that from Beast Boy, or Cyborg, or Starfire, and Star has very vivid dreams."

"Yes, but you've also been into my mind further than you've been into theirs."

"And now you're saying I _planted_ this dream?"

I backpedalled, fast. "Of course not. I just… I'm just saying…"

"Yes?" She tilted her head one way then the other as she scrutinised me. "What are you saying?"

Unsure, I shuffled uneasily. "I'm no good at this. Raven, it's not my fault—"

Raven heaved in a huge sigh. "Oh, stuff it, only one way to check," she said, took a step toward me. Her arm snaked out and she grabbed me by the clasp at the front of my cape and yanked me forward.

I froze momentarily as she pressed her lips to mine, dazzled. Wow. WOW! I mean… really… wow! Something rocketed through me. A buzz, a tingle, a tantalising feeling of joy. My eyes slid shut. My hands grabbed her head, buried in her hair and pulled her closer. Her hand which had been fisted on my collar instead splayed on my chest. I breathed in her scent and when she opened her mouth I couldn't help but taste.

And then she pulled away, shocked, startled, and downright terrified. More emotion than I'd seen in a long time. I was dumbfounded at her expression, what was so wrong? One hand touched her lips briefly as she stared at me then both hands went to my chest and she shoved me so hard I was propelled out of her room and hit the opposite door.

She stared at me in only what I could call was horror. Her head shook minutely, said, "No," and then her door was shut.

I slumped at the base of the wall and stared at her closed door, dazed.

What the hell? What _was_ that? Kiss me then shove me out?

Surging to my feet, I pounded on her door. I wanted something, an explanation, an apology, another kiss, something. I don't really know what. I called her name, kicked the door, banged on it some more. I even contemplated prying the door open. I remember using sentences like, "What's going on?" and "Why won't you talk to me?"

There was only silence on the other side of the door.

One last thump and I rested my back against her door. "Damn it, what'd I do?"

Well, standing outside her door was pointless; Raven wasn't going to answer me. There was no real reason to hang around. I huffed, pushed off her door and stalked down the corridors of the Tower to my room, locking the door behind me before I flopped on my bed facedown.

The world was against me, I was sure of it. I was confused and frustrated. What was Raven thinking, kissing me like that? I was trying to tell her my stupid dreams wouldn't change anything and she had to kiss me and ignite something. I would have been happy with a harmless little crush and never having to speak of it again, but nooooo, she had to reciprocate—

Wait, what?

I sat up. I shook my head. No, that wasn't possible. Don't go thinking like that. Raven was Raven. Raven didn't have crushes.

Well, there was Aqualad. Raven and Starfire went all gaga eyed over him. Wow, that was an interesting memory, seeing Raven all—

No, don't go there. It'll open doors you cannot close. Team dynamics, remember? Bad to date a team member. Bad, Robin, bad.

Ahh, but she kissed me. And she responded when I kissed her back. To check, as I recall her words were. I was insanely curious about what she was checking. Maybe that was why she kissed me in the first place, to see if she felt something.

Which would be bad. Or good. Or… Oh listen to me, arguing with myself.

I scrubbed my face, took off my mask to rub my eyes. This was just ridiculous. I needed to get rid of some energy. Go for a run. Hit the punching bag. Maybe find Starfire and talk to her about this, leaving out that it was Raven, of course. Star's a girl, she could help. Maybe Cyborg, he's had loads of girlfriends, he'd know.

But, still. Two kisses in two days from two girls. There was something satisfying about that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4.**

Raven ignored the crap out of me for the two weeks. Every time I entered the common room, she would leave, even if she was in the middle of something she'd just warp out of there. Even though I thought it was juvenile, it wasn't really about me. If running away was how she coped, then okay. I just wish I knew what I'd done, beyond the whole dream thing. It's not like I kissed her first.

Yes, okay, I shouldn't be dreaming of her, and before you ask, it's every night. But I can't control this. I tried. They keep coming.

I tried staying awake until I fell into an exhausted sleep, hoping to skip the REM stage of sleep. That failed dramatically and only made me more tired the next day. I tried cutting down on coffee. I tried going to bed early for a good night's sleep. Nothing worked. The instant I hit REM, Raven would dance through my dreams.

My subconscious was certainly persistent.

Strangely enough though, if I tried to hold onto the particulars of a dream, like where I was or what sounds were around me, I found that I couldn't. I was perplexed.

I ran a few scans of the Tower, and went to the medical bay to run a few scans of myself, just in case someone was messing with me. All the scans were clean, which meant either no one was messing me, or whoever was couldn't be picked up by conventional means. If I wanted a more in-depth scan, I'd have to involve Cyborg or Raven.

So not going to happen.

Unless it was Raven that was messing with me, an idea I dismissed almost as soon as I thought it. Raven wouldn't do that, it wasn't like her at all.

Every time I walked into a room where Raven was, and she didn't warp out immediately, my heart gave a funny hiccup. I would follow her movements with my safely hidden eyes and knew that if I didn't turn my head her direction, no one else would know I was watching her. I wouldn't try to approach her though, that just meant she would leave faster and I really did want to talk with her.

Each morning I knock on her door and try to talk to her. Each morning the knock would be ignored. Damn it all, I just wanted to set things right, turn back the clock to before these stupid dreams started ruining my life.

I suppose the only consolation was she couldn't avoid me during alerts. She was forced to interact with me. Even though alerts are business and I wouldn't (or couldn't) talk about private stuff, it was nice to hear her voice and know that we are okay at least in some parts in our friendship. She's not one for letting the team down.

But then we'd get back to the Tower and she'd be right back to ignoring me.

Fine. Whatever. Two can play at that game, Raven, see how you like being ignored.

Wow, was I petty or what?

I sighed. Okay, so ignoring Raven wasn't the way to go but I didn't know what else to do. I leant against the wall outside my bedroom door with my head back so I could stare at the roof. I really should go and try to see Raven again before a few hours paperwork then hit the sack. These past weeks of waking up after a dream and not being able to get back to sleep was taking a toll.

"Dude, got a sec?"

Tilting my head, I saw Beast Boy walking up the corridor toward me. I was tired, it had been a long day and I was in no mood to chit chat. This better be important. "Yeah, sure," I said tiredly and pushed off the wall. "What's up?"

"Dude, I'll be blunt. Why does your smell change whenever you're around Raven lately?"

I raised my eyebrows. "My smell? What—oh."

Beast Boy frowned in thought. "It's like you're… excited…" His expression turned to one of shock. "Dude!"

I cringed.

"Dude!" Beast Boy exclaimed again.

I winced.

"Duuuuuude."

Great, we were up to the elongated 'dude'. "Beast Boy—"

Beast Boy shook his head and backed up a step. "Dude, that's so wrong."

I sighed. "Tell me about it."

"It's Raven."

"I know."

"Dude, she's, like, she's mine."

Oh, shit. "She is? Are you two dating?"

"Well, no…" He waggled a finger at me, "But I called dibs!"

"You can't call dibs on a girl."

"Can to," Beast Boy protested.

"She's not an object, Beast Boy. You can't lay claim to anyone."

"Dude, she's mine. You can't have her!"

I don't know about you, but when someone tells me I can't do something, it makes me want it more. I got angry. "You just finished telling me that you weren't dating her!"

"Dude, I've been putting down foundations! She laughs at my jokes, sometimes. She watches me play video games. She plays skank ball! She hugged _me_ after that whole evil dragon in a book thing."

"She hugged me too!" Wow, how petty of me. See?

Beast Boy stabbed my chest with a finger and snarled, "You snatched my chance to act the hero by going off with Slade to rescue her from the underworld and now you're trying to steal my girl!"

"I wasn't _snatching_ anything. I was trying to protect all of you! Trusting Slade of all people is the hardest thing I've ever done and I couldn't risk any of you like that!"

"She kept my damn penny!"

"She's been inside my mind!"

"Well I've been inside hers!" Beast Boy yelled.

"You broke in!"

"Why the hell would she want you over a stud like me?" Beast Boy complained. I was so angry I was ready to punch him. And then I heard what he was really saying. It wasn't about me liking Raven. It was that Beast Boy thought I was competition he couldn't compete with. He's always had issues about not being good enough, we're all aware where that stems from.

I forced myself to calm down. I ran a hand through my hair, put one hand on my hip and sighed. "Beast Boy, look, this is something I can't control. It's a stupid, hormonal crush. I didn't mean for it to happen. Nor am I chasing after Raven, I'm fighting this tooth and nail."

Beast Boy looked taken aback. "Why?"

"Because it's Raven."

"What, she's not good enough for you?"

I scowled at him. "Stop twisting my words."

"I can't believe you'd betray Starfire like this."

I frowned. "I'm not betraying Starfire. Why would you say that?"

"You have a hot alien chick, why do you have to go after Raven too?"

"I'm not going after Raven!" I snapped. "She's not interested in me like that!"

More surprise from Beast Boy. "She not?"

"No!"

"Oh."

"God, Beast Boy! I have a crush. It's on Raven. I'll get over it. I'm not trying to steal her away, and really, don't you think it's her decision who she dates?"

Beast Boy's ears drooped and he looked like a dog that had been scolded. "Yeah, I know. Sorry," he finished more as an afterthought.

"It's cool." I stuck out a thumb toward my door. "Look, I was—"

"Robin? Robin! I have wonderful news!"

I turned and watched Starfire fly through the corridor toward me. "What's that?" I asked.

She reached us and grabbed my arm excitedly. "Red Star has asked me on the date tonight and I have accepted. You must help me prepare!"

"Red Star?" Beast Boy asked, looking from Starfire to me and back again.

Starfire bounced up and down in the air as she clutched my arm. "Yes," she said. "Red Star has been speaking to the French Government about their nuclear testing and he asked me to attend one the conferences in Paris to assist in the translation."

"Ahh, Star, that's not really a date," I said, trying not to be annoyed as my arm was jerked up and down. It was nice to see Starfire excited, but my arm hurt.

She scoffed at me and waved her free hand. "Oh, I know that. But he said he would take me out to dinner afterward to thank me for my help and I asked him if it was a date and he looked embarrassed and said yes, if I was not opposed to the idea. It was really very cute! Robin, you must help me prepare."

"And, you like Red Star?" Beast Boy asked. "Like, _like_ like Red Star?"

Starfire nodded. "He is a very dear friend and I enjoy my time with him. He is quite the gentleman and I would enjoy experiencing the date with him." She tilted her head at Beast Boy. "Why?"

Beast Boy looked between Starfire and me again. "I thought— ah… never mind."

Starfire tugged my hand impatiently. "Please, Robin?"

"Yeah, okay," I said, smiling at her eagerness. "Why haven't you asked Raven? I thought the two of you liked doing that kind of thing together."

"I tried," Starfire told me. "But she said she was busy."

"And, dude, you're like okay with this?" Beast Boy asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked Beast Boy. "Star and I aren't dating."

Starfire's feet hit the ground as she looked at Beast Boy mournfully. "Not you as well."

Beast Boy looked lost for words, but he recovered surprisingly quickly. "'Course not, Star," he said and then grinned. "Make sure you paint Robin's toes and fingers, that way you can match colours with whatever you wear better."

Starfire beamed. "What a splendid idea!" she exclaimed and dragged me off while I glowered over my shoulder at Beast Boy.

He gave me a two finger salute and walked away laughing; no doubt to go and tell Cyborg that Robin had painted nails underneath his gloves and boots. Great. Just great.

_**

* * *

A/N **Please note, Dreams is currently finished on my hard drive. You won't get all at once, but occassionally you might get a double posting. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5.**

I'm a guy.

Just in case you'd forgotten. Starfire seems to. I have all the necessary appendages and raging hormones that go with it.

Guys, as a rule, don't care what a lady wears, as long as she's happy with it. I'm sure plenty of guys out there would say they prefer their ladies naked, why ruin a good thing by covering it with clothes? Most of us know to answer 'you look beautiful' when asked if a pair of jeans make you look fat. Most of us really don't care if your lipstick is ruby red or scintillating scarlet. I'm sure there are guys out there who can tell which dress a girl prefers by how she acts when she wears it and gets on her good side by telling her that he likes it and that's the one to wear. Not me though.

Thankfully, Starfire only has few dresses. Some of them are pink, and I don't know about you but pink on a red head just looks odd. She had a nice purple dress too and I could tell she liked the way she looked by how long she twirled in front of the mirror, but she eventually discarded that one too, saying it was inappropriate for a conference and she and Red Star would be going to dinner directly after.

I asked her why she just wasn't going in uniform and was told that also would be inappropriate since it was quite cool (but not cold) in Paris at this time of year and she didn't want to draw undue attention to herself by dressing incorrectly. She was there to support Red Star.

I lounged on her bed on my stomach while Starfire tried on different outfits. I was actually surprised that she had one of those screens to duck behind and change, you know those ones they use in old western flicks. Saved me from waiting outside her door like an idiot, or turning my back while she changed. Shows how much I've been in her room lately, doesn't it.

Starfire looked at herself in the mirror and discarded another dress. "Oh, none of these are suitable."

I scratched my head. "Hey, Star… Paris is like eight hours ahead of us. If you're leaving soon, wouldn't it be more like a breakfast date?"

Starfire paused. I could see her running the numbers in her head. "Perhaps I have the time wrong." She quickly pulled out her communicator (seeing as Red Star doesn't sleep) and I heard her speaking Russian and Red Star answering the same. I eavesdropped, after all who do you think Starfire learnt Russian from? It sounded like Red Star had mixed up the words 'dinner' and 'breakfast'. When she signed off, I raised my eyebrows at her. "Red Star mistook his English," she explained. "I am glad I am not the only one to do that. He was nervous when he asked me, it is very sweet. It is a morning conference and he wishes to take me to breakfast." She tilted her head at me. "Can breakfast be a date?"

"Of course."

"Oh, good," she said with a smile. "Then an evening dress would be completely inappropriate. I must change!"

I cringed, now she was going to try on even more clothes. "Why Red Star?" I asked curiously.

"I am uncertain," she replied from behind her screen. "Perhaps because he is the first to ask me since you and I talked."

I blinked. "C'mon, Star, you must get loads of date offers."

She laughed. "From Speedy, yes. As well as random people in the city but I believe most are misinformed about us dating."

"Ahh. So… are you hoping this date with Red Star will show people you're on the market?"

"On the market?"

"Available to date."

Starfire floated up to poke her head over the top of the screen and frowned at me. "Robin, what a dreadful thing to say. I would never treat Red Star like that. I am going to see if we are compatible. If we are not, then I will have an enjoyable time with a friend."

"Sorry," I said, abashed. "Just asking."

"You do the waiting," she said, disappearing behind the screen again. "The offers for dates for you when people know I am dating will be immense."

I blinked. "You think?"

Starfire laughed. "You will not believe how many girls have asked after you."

You know, that kind of made me feel weird, in a good way. Pity it wasn't the one I wanted. "Really?"

"You sound surprised. You must know how… ahh… how do you say… 'so hot you are smoking' you are."

I laughed, I couldn't help it. Slang coming from Starfire just has that effect on me, especially when you can tell she's deliberately getting it wrong for comic effect.

Starfire giggled and stepped out from behind the screen. "What do you think?"

A light blue jacket, a white shirt and the same colour blue trousers. She had a pair of black shoes with heel. Heh, was a good thing she wasn't dating me, I'd be dwarfed next to her. Demure, cute, perfect for a first date. I nodded in approval. "You look very nice."

"You have said that to everything I have tried on!" Starfire complained, obviously hoping for more. "Truly, I do wish Raven was available."

I sighed. "I might have something to do with why she's hiding," I admitted.

Starfire managed to look intrigued and stern at the same time. "What did you do?"

Of course, it's all my fault. I wasn't about to go into detail with Starfire. But, perhaps, if I was vague enough, she could give me some advice. I sighed, sat up and threw my legs off Starfire's bed so I could sit on the edge. "I may have… accidently of course, let her see into my mind at an inopportune time."

Starfire frowned. "Inopportune time?" she questioned. I winced, thinking I'd have to explain it further when a look of understanding crossed her face. "Oooh… you are perhaps referring to the boy thoughts?"

Now, I couldn't look at Starfire. Seriously, these thoughts of mine were cramping my style. "Yeah."

"Oh dear."

"It's not like I can control them," I said, immediately defensive.

"I see."

"And I didn't know she was going to go into my mind. I like my privacy."

"I know."

"I apologised for it. I even took her flowers!"

"You did?"

"Can you say anything more than two words?"

"I apologise," Starfire said and sat on the bed beside me. "Raven is most likely as embarrassed as you are, Robin. She knows how private those kinds of thoughts are. Give her time."

"Yeah… see…" Oh stuff it all, I needed to talk to someone. I kept my head down so I didn't have to watch her reaction. "That's not all. Those boy thoughts, they were about her."

There was a sharp intake of breath. I cringed, waiting for her to yell at me. So the squeal caught me off guard, so did the glomp that followed. I lost my balance on the bed and we ended up in a tangle on the floor.

"Starfire!" I complained.

"Sorry!" she replied immediately. She lifted up and away from me but still remained horizontal. "You have the crush?" she asked, clasping her hands together. "How adorable."

I glared at her and brushed her hair out of my face. "Adorable is not quite what I was hoping for."

"Have you told Raven?" Starfire asked.

I sighed and threaded my fingers together and rested them on my chest. "I'm pretty sure she knows."

"Oh?" Starfire was doing slow revolutions above me, now she appeared upside down to me.

I followed her movements with my eyes; she wasn't giving me enough space to stand up yet. "I'd rather not go into it. Suffice it to say that she doesn't feel the same way."

Starfire completed her revolution and looked sad. "I am sorry."

I shrugged. "Probably for the best," I said.

Starfire straightened and landed, holding out her hand to help me up. "I could speak with her, if you like."

As she heaved me to my feet, I said, "No. It's fine. There's Beast Boy to consider as well."

Starfire cringed. "Oh. Yes. Wow. That is certainly a predicament."

I nodded. "Thanks, though. It feels nice to talk about."

She gave me a quick hug. "I will always be here if you need to talk."

"Ahem," someone said from the door.

I stared at Raven blankly, too surprised to react. Starfire, thankfully, squealed and pounced on Raven. "You have to help me!" she cried, dragging Raven into the room. "Robin is hopeless and I have little time before my date with Red Star."

"I know," Raven said, narrowing her eyes at me. "That's why I'm here."

Starfire darted back to me, took me by the shoulders and shoved me out the door. "Thank you for your help, Robin, please wait in the common room."

"Star—" And then I was speaking to Starfire's closed door. Dismissed, just like that. And I reeeeeeally wanted my nails painted. Darn.

Well, it could have been worse. Raven could have walked in while Starfire and I were on the floor. I frowned. Really, that was rather stupid of me, I'd done nothing wrong. Starfire's my best friend, Raven knows that. Not like she was jealous anyway.

I sighed, ran a hand over my face and wandered off in the direction of the common room.

Cyborg was sprawled out on the sofa, engrossed with a game on the big screen while Beast Boy sat on the bench eating a bowl of ice-cream.

"How are those nails, dude?" Beast Boy called as he saw me.

I gave him the finger. "Where's mine?"

"In the freezer. Where's Star?"

I headed for the kitchen area. "She sent me here to wait for her."

Beast Boy made a whip sound and I glared at him. A bowl from the cupboard. Ice-cream from the freezer. "Seriously?" I asked, looking at flavour. "Cookie dough?"

"That's all that's left. Must be one of the girls'."

I decided my need for something sweet outweighed the fact that it was cookie dough and helped myself to a bowl. I hopped up on the bench beside Beast Boy to watch Cyborg play.

"Dude, about before—"

"Forget it."

"I just—"

"It's cool. Really. I'm not going to step on your toes."

Beast Boy laughed. "Not like you'd have a chance, anyway."

I snorted.

He sobered. "I'm gonna ask her out tonight," he said shyly. "Talking to you… well… there's loads of other guys out there, don't want to miss my chance… and I gotta know, too, if she like, likes me or not."

Well… damn… there's really nothing I could say to that except, "Good luck."

Beast Boy nodded. We watched Cyborg for a while, calling out encouragement, or trying to make him lose by doing silly things like making noises right in his ear as we waited for the girls to arrive. It was fun, I haven't been spending enough time with the guys lately and I made a mental note to join in more.

Starfire and Raven showed up after that and I turned from where I was sitting on the back of the sofa to greet them.

Starfire wore navy blue jacket, one of those ones that reach down to the knee, with a white shirt underneath, navy blue pleated skirt that stopped just below the jacket line. Okay, so that did look awesome. Raven had nice taste.

My eyes trailed over to Raven, who was smiling quietly at Starfire, more relaxed and herself than she'd been the past two weeks. I guess they'd had a chance for some girl talk. Beast Boy hopped off the sofa and headed to Raven and I turned my eyes away, not wanting to watch. Stupid crush.

"What do you think?" Starfire asked, twirling.

"Beautiful, Star," I said.

She beamed and kissed my cheek. "Thank you!" she sang. "Opps, sorry." She wiped her lipstick from my cheek and I grimaced at her teasingly.

From the corner of my eye, Cyborg smirked at me and mouthed, "About time."

"Oh, I am so excited," Starfire said, twirling in the air. "My first real date."

I was happy for her, but also concerned. "Just remember—"

She pouted and waggled her finger at me. "I will not do anything I do not wish too. And I will remember where my knee shall go. I will not forget, do stop with the fretting."

"Good girl," I said. My eyes flicked to Raven on their own. Somehow Starfire knew where my gaze went, because her gaze went to Raven at almost the same time. Raven had an odd expression on her face as she talked to Beast Boy, one I couldn't decipher. I turned my head away and looked at the floor.

"Robin?"

I looked up at Starfire, keeping my head down. "He's asking her out."

"Oh."

I shook myself free of melancholy and raised my head. "You have an awesome time. I'll wait up."

Cyborg's head snapped around from the game I was sure I heard his neck crick.

"You do not need to do that," Starfire said. "It will be very late."

I stood and took Starfire's elbow to escort her to the door. "I want to know how your date with Red Star goes." Besides, I didn't really want to sleep. Not tonight. As tired as I was, I'd rather no sleep than dreams about Raven knowing Beast Boy asked her out.

"Have fun, Star," Beast Boy called and Raven offered her a small wave.

"Yeah, have fun," Cyborg chimed in, sounding completely confused.

Starfire gave us all one of her brilliant smiles and waved as the door closed.

"Rob, what the hell?" Cyborg asked immediately.

Beast Boy and Raven stopped what they were talking about and I turned towards Cyborg, frowning. "What?"

"What the hell?" Cyborg repeated, standing up. "Why is she going out with Red Star?"

Raven and Beast Boy both looked at me, then each other and kept quiet. I would have felt better if they left, but I guess they were curious too. Really, I should have known this was coming. Stupid of me to not tell Cyborg beforehand. "Because he asked her."

Cyborg stalked around the sofa toward me. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," I replied.

"She's your girlfriend," Cyborg snapped. "You know how innocent she is! What is this, some perverted game—"

"Cy—"

"Throw her out there with a guy she barely knows and say it's a date?"

"Cy—"

"Man, that's so wrong and you know it."

"Cyborg—"

"Did you have your fill of her then? Palm her off onto the next poor sap?"

I clenched my hands into fists. "How dare you—"

"She's like my sister, Robin!" Cyborg actually grabbed the front of my shirt and hoisted me into the air. "If you've fucked with her—"

"Cyborg!" I snapped, my toes only barely touching the ground. "Put me down."

"Tell me what you did!"

"Nothing! Starfire's not my girlfriend, she's never been my girlfriend and you must think so fucking little of me if you'd believe I'd do something like that to her."

"That doesn't make sense," Cyborg snapped, shaking me a little. "She's been infatuated with you since day one."

I gritted my teeth. I could get out of Cyborg's hold easily but it would probably be pointless. I glanced at Raven and Beast Boy, but they really couldn't offer help. Cyborg needed to have this out, it seemed. "Are you going to let me explain? Or would you prefer to shake the answer out of me?"

Cyborg scowled and planted me on the ground. He crossed his arms on his chest and towered over me. "Explain."

"Starfire and I decided we'd be better friends than a couple."

"Do you think I'm dense? I've seen the way you two looked at each other. Hell, I could probably count the times we've all been waitin' for you to just start makin' out."

"And each time, one of us has stepped back, what that tells you?"

"That you're both real stupid."

"Or, neither of us wants to ruin our friendship. She's an amazing girl and she's going to make some guy very happy, but that guy's not going to be me."

Cyborg shook his head. "I don't believe you."

I glanced at the silent Raven and Beast Boy again. "Why are you the only one making an issue out of this?"

"Because Starfire's too damn polite to tell you when you're being a dick."

Touché. "Starfire like us the way we are."

Cyborg pushed past me. "I'm gonna go get her, she needs some sense talked into her head—"

I turned and grabbed his arm. "She's really excited about this date with Red Star. Don't ruin it for her."

Cyborg paused and looked at me. Stared at me. "Man, why aren't you going mental over this? I remember when she was heading back to Tamaran. You were insane."

"Because Starfire's my best friend and I want to see her happy. We all could see she didn't want to go. Don't delude yourself into thinking she wanted to marry that slug."

Cyborg narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "No. This is some sort of—"

I sighed tiredly. "Some sort of what? Trick? Ploy? Do you really think I'd stoop so low?"

"I don't know what to think. I ain't happy, man."

"Well, get over it," Raven said. "Star's going to come back and she's going to want to gush to us all about her date. Act happy."

Cyborg turned on her. "How can you just stand there—"

"Empath," Raven interrupted. "I know exactly how he feels."

I jerked my head toward her, I couldn't help it. She met my gaze evenly. I know my jaw dropped. Beast Boy looked from Raven to me and then gave me a pained sort of look.

Cyborg grunted. "But—"

"I'm thrilled you have faith in my powers," Raven told him sternly.

Cyborg shut his mouth and made a disgruntled sound.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," Raven said. "I need to meditate." The door swished as she exited.

I shot a look at Cyborg, but he didn't seem to want to argue anymore.

"This ain't over," Cyborg snapped at me. "But it'll wait 'til I talk to Star."

I nodded, I expected that. "You do that."

Cyborg paced for a brief moment then snapped, "Gonna work on my car."

Then he was gone and I was left standing there with Beast Boy, who offered me an unsure smile.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Well, that went well."

"You're telling me. Never seen Cy that mad."

Because I was his friend, I had to ask. "How'd it go for you?"

"Are you sure you really want to know?" Beast Boy asked carefully.

"Yes." Well, I did. I'm not sure if it was for the right reasons though.

"Dude, she said yes."

And with that, my world shattered.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N**__ The problem with Cyborg's reaction, well, there are two problems. One, you only saw it through Robin's eyes, and Robin thought it wasn't fair, so he's biased toward it and showed Cyborg in a bad light. It's not his fault and Cyborg's all up in his face, blaming him. It's one of the issues of first person. Notice Beast Boy and Raven didn't react, they thought it was a reasonable reaction from someone who didn't know, or they would have stopped it. Sure, BB said afterward he's never seen Cy that mad, but he was just trying to make Robin feel better. Two, you're only getting one chapter at a time, and Cyborg touches on why he reacted like that this chapter. This story was written as a whole, something I mentioned in chapter 2 might come into play later. Patience. _

_So, you can have this chapter early, to show I really did think about why Cyborg reacted like that._

**Chapter 6.**

Perhaps it was overdramatic of me to say my world shattered. I was hurt, I can't deny that. But it was also good to have a definitive answer.

Raven wasn't into me. I could deal with that. It could even be a relief, maybe the stupid dreams would stop. Wow, though, that was actually quite mean of her, saying to my face in front of others that she knew how I felt and yet announcing that she was going with Beast Boy. Oh, all right, that's not fair. She didn't announce it. She probably doesn't know Beast Boy told me. Still, I would have preferred she told me herself.

Beast Boy was getting his chance. It was good that he'd finally gotten the balls to ask her, even if it did take me liking her as well to get him moving. I hope everything worked out like he wanted.

Crushes are strange things, they often end up people you least expect. If you'd asked me when the Titans first started who I'd date given the choice, I would have said Starfire, immediately. Now that I was seeing Raven in that light, well, it was odd. Weird. Nice, but weird.

I stared blankly at the TV screen. There was news on and I knew some part of my brain was taking note of it, that's what I was trained to do, after all. Mostly, I just stared off into space though. I may have dozed on and off.

Just after three in the morning, I pulled my communicator out and started flipping it open, then closed again. We had to make new ones after the whole Brain incident, and they would no longer work just by opening them. Each communicator was keyed to one DNA sequence, although there was an emergency channel which could be use if some other Titan had to use the communicator (or a civilian using the communicator), but that would broadcast the message to every Titan and was only to be used in cases of emergency. Any attempts to circumvent the protections of the communicator would self destruct it immediate and send out an all frequency distress call.

My feet were up on the coffee table and I slouched. There were two empty coffee mugs before me and I was considering making a third.

"Is she back yet?"

I glanced over my shoulder at Cyborg as the door swished closed behind him. "No. Could just be the time difference. What are you doing up so late?"

"Not up late, up early. I wanted to be awake when she got home." Cyborg didn't look happy. He came around the sofa and thumped down next to me. I glanced at him curiously and continued to flip the communicator open and closed. He seemed troubled, but calmer.

Cyborg glanced at me to see me watching him and sighed. "Man, I don't like this. I still think you'd be the best for her. You get her. There's not many who do."

I nodded. "I get that."

"Sorry 'bout before. You shook up my world. Here I thought Star's gettin' all dressy cause you'd asked her out at last. And you're all too calm 'bout her going out with some other dude. It's not like she'd be the one to play games, it had to be your fault. She's gonna go off and get hurt and we're not there to protect her. Didn't dent ya, did I?"

"Pffft," I scoffed. "As if. I should have thought to warn you before she came out. Sorry about that."

Cyborg nodded. "Yeah."

"Starfire can look after herself, you know."

He sighed again and ran two hands over his bald head. "Star… she's so innocent and naive at times. If she was with you, you'd protect her from the big bad of this world, 'cause… y'know…. You're you. You'd never take advantage of that and there's a lot of guys that will. She gets all culturally confused and does things 'cause she thinks she's 'sposed to and… Now I'm gonna be constantly worryin' about the guys she dates."

I see. "I'm scared for her too, I wouldn't be waiting up if I wasn't. But we can't coddle her. Besides, she's not that innocent. She knows about 'the boy thoughts'."

Cyborg reared back in surprise. "She does? Daaaamn," he said, his whole body committed to the word. "When did our Star get all grown up? I guess this is what brothers feel like when their kid sister dates."

I laughed. "Probably." I just had to tease him. "Or fathers. Big daddy Cyborg."

Cyborg grinned at the joke. "If she's not home soon, I'll go get the shotgun, huh?"

"You need a rocking chair and a straw hat as well."

"And a porch to sit on to polish said gun."

"And a spittoon."

"Field filled with corn."

"A green dog to put your feet on."

"And a woman in the kitchen makin' me a sammich."

I grinned at him. "Isn't that what Sarah's for?"

"Sarah'd kick my ass if I asked her to make me sammich."

I laughed. "That's what makes her awesome."

"So, what about you then?" Cyborg asked. "I've got Sarah. Star's dating. The grass stain finally asked Raven out, that just leaves poor ickle Robby all alone."

I shrugged. "Happy being me."

Cyborg shrugged. "Okay." He considered me. "I assume you told her all about date rape?"

I lifted my eyebrows at him. "It's Red Star. He knows what's coming for him if he hurts her."

"True, but that was the first thing runnin' through my head. She's gonna come back hurt and it's going to be your fault. Then I'd really have to kill you."

Very understandable, now I considered it. It was one of the things I thought of first as well. "I'd never let her go if I thought she wasn't prepared. I gave her a run down. She won't do anything she doesn't want to."

"Did you tell her to go for the eyes?"

I grinned. "I told her to use her knee. And if he was persistent, not to hold back on her strength."

Cyborg winced and grinned at the same time. "Good. Did she practice on you?"

"Hell no. I'd like children someday. We used one of the training dummies."

Cyborg laughed. "So, game?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

And just like that, everything was back to normal. We played a racing game for a while, I won't bore you with the details. Suffice it to say I am awesome at this game and I left Cyborg completely in the dust. All the time. He stood no chance against how awesome I am. Haha.

Nah, I'm kidding. It was nice to do stuff with just Cyborg for a while.

About five in the morning, when I was beginning to think I should've done the same as Cyborg and got up early instead of staying up, the door swished open and Starfire floated through. Both of us twisted to greet her with smiles. "Friends," she exclaimed as she saw us. "Oh, I had a wonderful time!"

I grinned, relieved she was home. "I'm glad."

"I apologise for the time. Paris is so pretty. After we had breakfast, Red Star took me for a walk down the river and we fed the pigeons. He was very naughty; there was no conference at all. He simply wished to spend time with me."

"Did you kiss him?" I teased.

Starfire laughed and battered a hand at me. "Of course not. But I did acquire the second date."

"Congrats," I said, and glanced at Cyborg. "Well. It's really late… or early, however you want to look at it. Night guys." I stood and messed up Starfire's hair. "I'm glad you had fun."

"C'mere, girl," Cyborg said as I walked toward the door. "I want to talk to you 'bout somethin'."

"Night Robin," Starfire called as she floated over the back of the sofa to sit beside Cyborg.

The corridor was dark as I wandered the hallways toward my room. It was the really early in the morning after all. I passed Beast Boy's room, grinning at the massive bear snores emanating from the door.

I glanced at Raven's door, contemplated knocking for a fraction of a second, then continued.

"Robin."

I paused, but didn't turn to look at Raven. I was tired, grumpy and sick to death of her attitude. "What?"

"About Beast Boy," she said, timidly.

"Stop it," I snapped, still not facing her. "Just stop. I don't want to know."

"I'm not doing this to hurt you," Raven said.

I clenched my fists. Was I bitter? Hell yes. Raven admits she knows how I feel, she won't tell me how she feels but she felt enough to kiss me, and she's rubbing her date with Beast Boy in my face?

Okay, so that's unfair and unreasonable. But, damn it all, I wanted to be unreasonable. I'm tired of being mature and telling myself I can deal with it.

I spun around. "You've ignored me for weeks, right after _you_ kissed _me_. And you're not doing this to hurt me."

"We'd never work."

"Whatever. Keep telling yourself that." I waved my hand at her dismissively as I turned around again. "G'night Raven."

She didn't call after me, not that I expected her too.

Sometimes it's hard separating the dream world that my mind had created from reality. Raven was in my dreams again. I was expecting it, resigned almost; I can't seem to escape these dreams.

She was, as usual, vivid, sensual. But also sad. The sad was the confusing part. I mean, it's my dream, right? Why would I think Raven was sad? I was angry with her, if what I read about dreams was true, wouldn't she appear angry in my dream?

Then, for the first time, she spoke to me. "Robin," was all she said, but there was a tone in her voice that I'd never heard before. It wasn't sexy, like I expected. She didn't purr my name. She sounded… frightened.

I was in a bit of a daze when I woke up after a couple of hours sleep. I ran on autopilot and was lost in thought a lot. I got some work done, although I can't vouch for the quality of the work. Played games with Cyborg. Talked to Starfire a bit. Beast Boy took Raven to the carnival, interesting choice as Raven's not really a carnival person but I didn't say anything. Trained. Went on an alert or two, covering for Beast Boy and Raven so they didn't have to interrupt their date. I got a report from Bumblebee, another for Argent. All in all, pretty average day.

I was nervous about sleeping, with this new talking dream development. I don't know what, but something about the dreams just wasn't right. The way she spoke, it was almost too real. That little bump of trouble I relied on had woken up. Finally.

I put a red notebook and a pen next to my bed, determined to record everything within the dream. When I woke, I wrote every single thing I could think of down. What the room was like. How it felt (emotionally, not physically). Was there anything special that appeared. What Raven might have said. I drew diagrams and charts, rated things that had happened against the previous night's dream.

Over the next few nights, the dreams began to paint a picture. A pattern emerged. Raven spoke more in my dream than I'd previously thought. The dreams weren't sensual, not when viewed with a cynical eye. There was tangible atmosphere of fear and uncertainty.

I stared at my notes. Stared at the words Raven used when she spoke in my dreams. Arranged and rearranged until I couldn't put them together any other way. I stared and stared and stared.

It was abundantly clear. There was no other explanation.

Someone was fucking with my mind.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N **__There were two chapters posted today._

**Chapter 7.**

After the initial, "OMG IT'S SLADE" panic moment, I went into detective mode, something I really should have done a lot sooner. I hit the database on the computer, running a search for all criminals and/or heroes and/or civilians who had the ability to influence minds and/or infiltrate dreams. While that was running, I picked up few copies of some dream books.

I thought about talking to Raven. Pride kept me from doing so. Starfire couldn't help. Cyborg would tease me about the dreams, even if it was about Raven. And Beast Boy's relationship with Raven was so new, I didn't want to ruin it.

I had many thoughts running through my head and there was one particular one which worried me. See, these dreams, they're what made me wake up and crush on Raven, but were they the reason behind the crush? There certainly was a foundation for the crush to begin with, but did it build upon feelings that already exist, or did the dreams create said feelings?

I couldn't answer that question. I wasn't sure if I wanted an answer, really. I wasn't ready to admit that the crush might be crossing over into forbidden territory.

I worried too. If these dreams were the reason I was falling for Raven, or even if they weren't, Raven didn't reciprocate. And she could have those sorts of feelings because she'd never accept a date from Beast Boy if the potential wasn't there. She wouldn't hurt him or lead him on, and while I honestly hoped she wouldn't do that to me either, there was a certain kiss that stayed foremost in my mind.

I sighed. There was no point dwelling. I opened one of the books I brought and began to read.

I never quite realised there were so many different sorts of dreams. Lucid dreams, progressive dreams, nightmares, epic dreaming, there was something called mutual dreaming.

While the search was running, I made myself an expert on dreams. There were a few things that jumped out at me while I was reading, in particular about erotic dreams.

"_If a person has a high degree of repression, the person's fears and anxieties may be expressed through their dreams. Similarly the person's desire for greater fulfilment may be expressed in erotic dreams. If the sexual repression is severe, the dreams may be filled with sexual situations that the person would find shocking, embarrassing, or confusing. In such cases, there is often a big difference between the person's waking sexuality and the sexuality displayed in dreams. The person's day-to-day life may be emotionally sterile and sensually barren, but the dream life is full of eroticism and steamy sexual encounters. By paying attention to your dreams you can learn about your needs and desires and perhaps discover ways to make your life more sensual if necessary."_

Great, so I was sexually repressed. Yay me.

"_Your sexual dreams may also reveal things about the way you feel about your relationships and your shared sexual behaviour. As was explained in the section about Freud, dreams can sometimes disguise sexual subjects and wrap the naked truth in all manner of symbolism. Explicit sexual images may appear in dreams. For example, should you dream of having sex with a member of your family or someone completely inappropriate, it does not necessarily mean that you have a mixed-up sexuality. Psychologists point out that this type of dream can be a symbolic message about your relationship with these people. You may worry that you have these illicit feelings, but dreams of this nature are comparatively common. There's no need to panic. Don't read too much into them."_

Oookay.

"_Erotic dreams usually occur at times when you need a certain amount of release from tension. They are a safety valve that lets out your pent-up frustrations and sexual inhibitions. They may compensate for your unfulfilled sex. People who have balanced and happy sex lives in their waking life do not, as a general rule, dream about sex. As far as we know, the primary functions of dreams are to maintain sleep and prevent the brain from emotionally overheating. Dreams therefore are often concerned with resolving problems and restoring emotional equilibrium. If sexual issues are important to you or have been pushed out of your waking consciousness, your dreams will try to deal with these unresolved issues. Even nightmares can be therapeutic, as they draw to your attention many of the hidden fears that may be preventing you from moving forward. Pay attention to your dreams and nightmares; they may hold the keys to your happiness."_

Great, that created more questions than it answered. I was a sexually repressed, unfulfilled, in a symbolic relationship, had unresolved issues and held the key to my own happiness. I should just jerk off more and things would go back to normal.

I sighed. Bet this guy never had reoccurring sexual dreams. I bet he never had anyone like Raven in his life either to have dreams about.

But it did help me understand some of the scope of the dreams I've been having. Now, I just needed to know if the dreams were planted or not.

I continued to read, waiting for the computer to blip. When it did, I marked my place in the book I was reading, took my feet of the desk and turned my attention to the computer screen.

Batman ran his databases in a program similar to Dos Prompt, you know, the program really old computers used to run before Mac released the interface. Old school, yes (and I used to tease Batman about that) but it's a lot more sophisticated and the power behind it was enormous. There were newer databases around but I liked the feel of this one. It made you think about what you were asking for, it made you refine your own searches, it helped sort things out in your own head. Rather than scrolling through pages and pages of images and sorting options, it gave you everything in text, and in text it's much easier to find patterns. Not to mention, it had links to every single police database and Justice League database there was. Score one for Batman.

Don't tell him that.

The black screen held a single line of information._ Database compilation complete. 157 results._

_=Sort: Known affiliates: Titans, Justice League, Batman, Green Lantern Corps, and/or Classification: Hero_

_Sorted. 23 results. _

I scanned through the results, unsurprised by Raven's name at the head of the list. J'onn was also there, but I doubted he'd be the one sending sexual dreams. That would just be weird. None of the other names jumped out at me, most of them I knew by reputation alone.

I sighed.

_=Disregard subjects in current sort from main search. _

_Sorted. 134 results._

_=Sort: Known activities: Criminal. _

_Sorted. 62 results._

_=Sort: Current Location: Unknown or Jump City._

_Sorted. 26 Results._

I scanned through the new results and chewed my lip. I didn't recognise any of them.

_=Sort: Police Database: Recent activity pattern match._

_Sorted. No results._

_=Sort: Unsolved cases: Activity pattern match._

_Sorted. No results._

Okay, so that meant whoever it was either they hadn't been reported, hadn't been doing it for long, or was only targeting me.

Because it was a long shot, and really I only wanted to discard that particular thread of thought before I got too obsessed over it, I typed:

_=Sort: Known affiliates: Slade._

_Sorted. 1 Match._

I rocked back on my chair, stunned. I really hadn't expected that to come up. Shite.

_=Show record._

_Name: Dream Catcher.  
Birth name: Penelope Tagan.  
Status: Retired.  
Location: Unknown.  
Activity: March 1981 – Bank robbery. Gassed all customers and workers. Coerced vault code from Manager in dream state, forced Manager to empty.  
June 1981 – Jewellery heist –_

I skipped through her criminal record, what I really wanted to know what her powers.

_Captured: Batman, Superman, Flash, Green Lantern. January 1981_

Wow. They really went all out for this one in the days when they didn't work together often. Interesting._  
_

_Status: Paroled from Arkam Asylum 1989, no further infractions recorded. Released with neuron inhibitor.  
Powers: Record locked._

The screen made a funny blip, like it had lost power for a fraction of a second. I sighed in response and put my fingers on the keyboard.

_=Hello Bruce._

_Dick. Why are you retrieving this record?_

I shook my head. Nosy bastard. Things weren't right between us; they hadn't been right since I left to lead the Titans, mainly because he refused to see that I was a capable hero and not just a sidekick anymore. He still had this stupid notion I needed protecting.

_=Possibility of activity in area._

_Subject has been inactive for many years. State reasons._

_=Get out of my business._

_I see. _

_=Do you? Really? Get off the line then. I have work to do._

_Neural inhibitor in place. Monitoring system states functionality normal. State reason for pursuit. _

_=Subject record and inhibitor code please._

_Reason for pursuit. Have you been having nightmares?_

I sighed heartily. He wasn't going to let me get away without an explanation. Anyone would think I hadn't been out on my own for years now.

_=You could call them that._

The cursor blinked at me for a moment.

_Dick, are you having sex dreams?_

Oh, shit. He's too damn perceptive for his own good.

_=Don't go there._

_They're a normal bodily function._

_=I'm not doing this with you._

_My boy's finally becoming a man._

_=Quit it! Record and code please._

_No._

Gah! I tossed up my hands in frustration. The man's insufferable! Cut me a little slack! He's having a good old laugh at my expense; I can just see the smirk on his face. I half expected the sex talk to come up next, something I did so not want to have with him, so I quickly refocused his attention.

_=Dreams becoming consistently worse and frequency increasing. Possibility high of transference to teammates. _

The cursor blinked at me for a long time. I was beginning to think Bruce had left.

_Dick, don't after Dream Catcher. She's dangerous._

_=Not planning on taking her on. I'll just check the inhibitor. She may have found a way to circumvent it, or the technology is outdated. Inhibitor implemented 1989._

More silence. Batman would never give me the codes, but Bruce just might. Bruce did alright as a father. Sometimes.

_=Please. I'll be careful._

_This is really bothering you._

_=Yes._

Even more silence. I waited patiently.

_Transferring record and code. Take back up._

Well, surprise, surprise. I hadn't really expected that to work, hacking the Batcomputer would be harder if Bruce knew I was going to, but it's wasn't impossible. This way was easier. It kind of made me feel warm too, just a little. He trusted me.

_=Thank you._

_Dick._

_=Yes?_

_Check in when you're done._

Okay, so he trusted me, but not that much. The screen flashed again and I was looking at Dream Catcher's complete file.

_Powers: Ability to manipulate thought patterns involved within the dream state, including but not limited to implanting thoughts into the subconscious. Specialises in nightmares. Leaves a signature imprint, an inconspicuous dream catcher. Dream can be disrupted by destroying dream catcher within dream. Has ability to keep a subject in a dream state indefinitely. Maybe have the ability to induce sleep, unproven.  
Extremely dangerous.  
Current location: Tracking location through inhibitor. One moment please…_

I smiled as I looked at the address. Time to get some answers. I printed the address, slipped it in my belt and headed for the garage.

Little did I know there was someone following me.

Okay, so I said that for dramatic effect. Of course I knew there was someone following me. Seems like it was time for Beast Boy and I to have another talk.

I leant against the R-Cycle, crossed my arms and my ankles and addressed the lizard slinking around the roof. "What's up?"

The lizard slunk down the wall and shifted into Beast Boy. "Hey," he said, embarrassed to have been caught.

"Hi, what's up?" I repeated.

He approached me cautiously, looking concerned. "Dude, you've been like zombiefied all week. Is it 'coz of me and Raven?"

I shook my head. "No. I've been working on a case." And that had taken my mind of what was happening with Beast Boy and Raven, thanks so much for reminding me.

"Oh." That had surprised him.

I gauged his expression. "Did you want me to be upset about you and Raven?"

Beast Boy shrugged. "Dunno." He fell silent, looking at the ground and shuffling his feet.

"Beast Boy, I have an appointment," I said. "Did you need something?"

He took a deep breath. "While we were out at the movies, I saw that girl again. You know, the one who says she's not Terra."

I sighed. "Not this again. Beast Boy, if she says she's not Terra, then she isn't—"

Beast Boy shook his head. "Nah, dude, just listen. See, I didn't feel anything for the girl, herself, but it did make me remember all the fun and silly things I did with Terra. And it made me think… Raven's not ever going to do any of that. She's not like that and really, I don't expect her too. That'd be asking her to change for me, and what drew me to her was herself. But, like, being with Raven's hard work, too."

I frowned at him. "It's not fair to compare Raven to Terra. They're completely different."

"I know," he replied. "But, it's like I'm overcompensating for her… what's the word… Raven-ness. I come back from being with her and I'm exhausted. Shouldn't dating someone be fun?"

"Well, yes, it should. What are you getting at?"

"I dunno," Beast Boy sighed. "I just wanted someone to talk to."

"Raven's worth the time and effort, she's worth someone who's willing to put in that effort."

"I know, dude, I know. I'm trying. Maybe I'm just not ready for this yet."

"Maybe. But you never know unless you try. I bet it'll get easier. You'll find your stride."

Beast Boy nodded. "Raven's special," he said. "I wanna make it work."

"Then you will," I replied.

"That's not all, though, dude."

"What else?"

"Sometimes… I feel like she's only going with me 'coz she's running from someone else."

I raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

Beast Boy dropped his eyes. "Dunno."

"Raven wouldn't hurt you like that. If she was interested in someone else, she'd never have said yes to you."

"You think so?" He looked hopeful.

"It's Raven, Beast Boy," I said and put a hand on his shoulder. "I know so. She chose you. Man up."

He laughed at that.

I grabbed my helmet and put it on. "Was there anything else? I need to go."

"Nah, dude. Thanks."

"No trouble," I said and threw my leg over the R-Cycle. I started the engine and revved her once. I love my bike. I thought about Batman's warning and considered getting Beast Boy to check in with me in an hour or two, and decided against it.

Worst decision I've ever made.

* * *

Cite:_ 'Fantasy Dreaming' by Craig Hamilton-Parker_ for the erotic dream section.

_Formatting this one was a pain. Please let me know if the computer conversation isn't clear. I used = for Robin's typing, the original character I used (the arrow key above fullstop) wouldn't transfer to FFnet._


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8.**

_Resthaven. 116 Sunnydale Street, Jump City._

My original plan was to do some reconnaissance, scope out the surrounds, maybe plant a few bugs, then go back to the Tower and review my options before I included the other Titans, as embarrassing as that might be. But now, as I stared at the address, well… I hadn't realised it was a retirement home for people with special requirements, like stroke victims or cancer patients, people on dialysis, that sort of thing.

So, either Dream Catcher had turned over a new leaf (it happens), or she was one of the patients. Plus, the inhibitor was supposedly still active, especially since we've never had any distress calls from this address. Surely it would be okay just to go have a look. I needed to check for peace of mind. Even if it wasn't Dream Catcher, maybe she could have some idea who could give me the dreams, or how I could stop them.

I parked the R-Cycle outside, taking off my helmet and studying the place from my seat. It looked neat. Tidy. A small gravel driveway led to the front foyer, thick roman pillars held up the concrete roof over the driveway so cars could unload out of the rain. A small and forlornly empty car park off to the side.

The building itself seemed squarish from the front, branching off both ways from the main door. Loads of curtained windows and I wondered if I'd arrived during a rest period. The gardens looked well kempt, a couple of wooden seats in the shade, shrubberies trimmed neatly. A croquet game looked to have been abandoned on the lawn under the shade of a large tree.

I placed my helmet on my bike and got off, making sure to set the alarm. I glanced around casually before heading into the building. I'd driven through the large metal (and lockable) gate on the way in, but beyond that, the street looked empty.

There was a nurse at the front desk. Middle aged, brown hair with the name tag of 'Megan'. She was speaking on the phone when I got there. The door I opened chimed and she lifted a finger toward me to ask me to wait, without actually taking her eyes off the notepad she was writing on.

"No, dear," Megan was saying. She sounded nice, kindly. "He slept well last night. Took all his medication. We got your parcel yesterday and he spent most of the day proudly showing of his great grandchildren… ah-huh. Certainly. Tomorrow at eleven. I'll make sure the video room is booked, leaving a note for Stephanie right now. Okay, talk to you then."

I smiled as she hung up, giving her my best boyish and disarming grin. "Hi."

She freaked. "Robin!" she cried, leaping to her feet.

I lifted my hands. "Woah, woah, its okay."

Megan pressed a hand to her heart, her eyes darting around. "Is everything okay? Do we need to evacuate?"

"No, no. There's no attack. I'm here to see someone."

Megan relaxed and grew quizzical. "Do you have family here?"

"No, I'm looking for Penelope Tagan."

Megan frowned. "Penny? She's harmless. I've read her file, we know all about what she could do, but Batman put an inhibitor on her and she's just sweet old Penny now."

So, she was a patient. I nodded. "Routine check-up," I explained. "Just checking on the functionality of the inhibitor."

"Oh," she said. "Well… okay." She picked up the phone and dialled a number. "Scott? Penny has a visitor, are you available for an escort? Okay, thanks." She addressed me. "Scott's her carer. He'll be down in a minute."

"Thanks."

Stephanie the receptionist returned before Scott there. She had a momentary fan girl squeal and asked me to sign something for her. Scott was just as surprised to see me as Megan had been. He made the same comment about Penny and it was intriguing that they both were protective of her. I gave him the same assurance; I was just here to check up on her. Scott led me down white corridors toward large swinging double doors. Beyond that was a large open plan room, the walls filled with windows and the views of the gardens beyond.

I looked out at the sea of age. Some of them were staring out the windows with flaccid, vacant expressions. Some played checkers or chess and listened to radios. A couple had visitors, younger people talking to them, one child was showing her drawings. A TV played in the corner and people clustered around that. Brightly coloured quilts, women knitting and talking, doilies on tables and floral teacups.

An old man, with a shock of white hair wheeled his motorised chair up to me. Hands shaking, he gestured and thrust a crumpled photograph of two small children at me. He grinned and drooled, half his face sloped. "Ook, ook," he said.

I looked at the picture.

"His great grandchildren," Scott explained. "Old Grandpa Henry's real proud of them."

"They're wonderful," I said, placing the picture back in his hand.

I was unnerved. It's not like I don't like old people. I remembered my own grandparent's somewhat fondly, but they died when I was young. Circus folk don't tend to linger. It just, there's this thought in my mind, one day that's gonna be me, old and gnarled, in a motorised chair because I've ruined my body with all the acrobatics and fighting now.

Plus, well. I'd been old too, thanks to Mad Mod. I could relate.

"This way," Scott said.

I wondered if these people were starved for visitors. Each person we passed looked up hopefully. I suppose there's not much else to do when you're old but wait for people to remember you.

Kind of sad.

There was an old woman by one of the windows, her hair faded to grey. She had on a fluffy yellow dressing gown and a pair of yellow duck slippers on her feet as she shuffled in a circle.

"I can't find it, I can't find it," the woman mumbled, shaking her head side to side.

"Penny, love," Scott said in a kindly, tolerant voice, "it's hanging up by the window. She has Alzheimer's disease," he told me quietly. "She's always lost something."

I jolted. This was Penny? This was Dream Catcher? Wow, I was way off base with that one. I'd been hoping maybe she was on dialysis or something, not Alzheimer's. Seems the simple inclusion of 'Slade' in someone's past sent me running on a wild goose chase. Stupid Slade.

Penny shook her head. "Wrong one, wrong one, doesn't break. I can't find it, I can't find it, have you seen it?"

I glanced at Scott. "What's she looking for?" I asked.

Scott pointed to the window and I saw a dream catcher dangling there. "We always make sure to keep one close, but it's never the right one."

I sighed. Penny shuffled around the room, asking anyone who would listen if they could find 'it'. "I just need to check her inhibitor, then I'll be on my way."

Scott nodded. "Of course. Penny, love, would you like some tea?"

"Tea?" she echoed, her gnarled finger spread then returned to claws. "Doesn't break, doesn't break. Have you seen it? Lost tea, lost it, lost it."

Scott angled Penny over to a wicker chair by the window and helped her sit. He held her shoulders and brushed her hair over her shoulder. I quickly got out the diagnostic kit I'd brought with me. Scott knelt down to talk to Penny, distracting her, while I checked the inhibitor.

Inhibitors are small, circular devices that are fixed to the base of the skull. They're designed to prevent people from using their powers. They only work on a particular classification of power, Type 2 as we called it. Anything that related to the mind, like telekinesis, telepathy or empathy, could be inhibited. Raven's power too, if she was so inclined. Most have to be programmed for a specific person.

This inhibitor was one I hadn't seen before. It seemed rather chunky compared to the later models. Still, it wasn't anything outside my skill range and I quickly set to work.

Penny rocked back and forth, continuing to talk. It was hard to work with her moving like this, but I had to make do. I didn't want her inconvenienced any more than she was already. It seemed in good working order. Some of the wires looked like they could do with replacement, but I'd rather get her a new inhibitor completely. I made a mental note to order one and mentioned to Scott I would do so.

We made small talk about the inhibitor itself and about Penny as I worked. He was interested in it from a purely medicinal point of view, if a device could inhibit powers, could the reverse be true. Could a device be made to help the connections within a brain? I wasn't sure but it sounded good. I promised to write a letter to Bruce Wayne myself to request his company, maker of the inhibitor devices, research a way to assist brain function. I had an internal chuckle over that, the letter probably would be something like 'yo, dad, make this'.

As I was talking to Scott, Penny moved and I hadn't preempted it. A wire broke away from its setting. I stared at the inhibitor blankly before I desperately tried to reattach the wire. At that moment, Penny turned her head and looked straight at me and asked, "Have you seen my dream catcher?"

Her gaze pinned me, drew me in, her old blue eyes getting bigger and bigger until they were all I could see. Beside me Scott face planted, people were dropping, bodies clattering down or slumping in chairs and all I could see were Penny's eyes.

The world dropped away and I was lost.


	9. Chapter 9

_Happy Australia Day._

**Chapter 9.**

I woke to the sun on my face and the sound of laughter. There was an odd pulse in my head, a rhythmic pounding that drummed inside my brain. It hurt. The light was too bright and had a strange glow to it. There were things hanging in the air, small glowing things like tiny suns. I shut my eyes again.

Although my head pounded, my body felt amazingly light. Whatever I was lying on was soft, fluffy almost. Before, where the scent of decay and disinfectant reigned I could now smell baking cookies. People around me talked, exclaimed, excited and astounded. Tones of voices wafted through the air. Some tones were scared, frightened people in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Fingers on my face, prodding, poking, pushing at my skin. Fingers at my wrist, pressed against my pulse. "Robin?"

My eyelids fluttered. I felt weak. Defenceless. Caught out in the open. I was trapped. The lightness of my body was suddenly a pressing weight. Couldn't move. Pinned. There were people touching my face and I couldn't stop them. My mask! My eyes!

With a surge of pure will, I flung an arm across my face and rolled, curling up in a ball to protect myself.

"Easy does it, son, you've had a hard knock."

I panted, the effort to move extreme. Movement over, my body locked up again.

"Settle, young one," another voice said. "Here, help me lift him."

"Is that wise?" someone asked.

"He is the channel. He is the dreamer. His mind cradles many. Reverence."

I opened my eyes. Hands under my arms, hands around my knees and I was lifted up, and over, and propped up in a wicker chair. So many people surrounded me, people I didn't recognise but they all stared at me in awe. I summoned my strength to speak. "Whrrmi?"

There was a young woman at the forefront of the group, blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, slender. She wore a white sundress, covered in yellow flowers. She smiled at me. "Such strength of will," she said. "Astounding." She knelt and patted my knee. "You are in the dream," she said. "I am Dream Catcher."

"'at?" I blurted and desperately tried to shake my head. "'o."

"Lost and alone for so long," she said in a sing song tone. "Now, I have so many friends." She spread her hands wide and danced in a circle.

Other faces swam before me, shifting and changing, growing younger with every passing moment. Old Grandpa Henry, so old and sad, now grinning broadly as he clutched his precious picture and danced on new legs with the Dream Catcher.

All of those I'd seen, aged and lost, were young and new again. Dancing, celebrating.

But not all of them. I caught a glimpse of Scott, the same as always. I saw Megan, slightly younger, fretting. I saw the little girl who'd been showing her picture crying.

My hands were like dead weights. My feet were stuck to the floor. My back was fused to the cushion on the chair. I couldn't move, couldn't get up to see why the little girl cried.

I peered through the gaps in the ocean of dancers, watching as a young man with dark hair held a flower out to the crying girl. "Laura, it's me," he said, his voice lifting over the revelry. "It's Poppi. Why don't you know me?"

Laura cried harder and pressed into Megan's side.

"Sss…" I hissed, trying to speak, but my jaw was like ice, even my tongue was heavy. "Ssssstp."

Dream Catcher stopped her dance and knelt before me again. "I cannot help you move," she said, sadly. "Our minds are fragile, old. We could not enter the dream without you. Your mind is sustaining so many now. It is a burden for you and a gift to us. A chance to be and live again."

"'o," I told her, teeth clenched in effort. "Ffffffffnd c-hr."

"The catcher is lost," she said mournfully, with a shake of her head. "Lost and gone." She patted my head, a kindly gesture. "Rest. Strength will return when you become used to the strain. Rest, then talk." She danced away again, celebrating with Henry and the other reborn.

There was nothing else to do but do as she said. I rested. I waited. I watched.

Movement returned first in my pinkie finger. Ironic really, there are all sorts of movies that show movement returning gradually to a paralysed patient via their fingers or toes wriggling, but that's how it was for me. First the fingers and toes. Then the heaviness began to slowly subside from all my limbs, flowing away from me like heavy water, though the headache remained. If anything, as my limbs got better, my headache got worse.

People were still dancing and celebrating. Some of them, married couples I hoped, were getting cosy in corners. The group for doctors, nurses and visitors had grown steadily while I'd been recuperating, their eyes falling on me like I was some sort of saviour, going to leap to their rescue. I was watched, not just by the doctors and nurses, but by the reborn and Dream Catcher herself.

She seemed… perplexed, curious. Not what I'd expected from a criminal mastermind. She studied me and I studied her right back.

Things were making sense. Somehow, Dream Catcher had become lost in her own dream, her body left behind. Not Alzheimer's at all, but something that looked like it. When I broke the inhibitor, and boy was Batman going to berate me for that, I'd sucked everyone around us into her dream state. Either because I was the closest, or because my mind was the strongest, somehow I'd become the host for this dream.

And if I was the host, I was also the master. I could stand if I wanted it bad enough.

It was still an effort and I felt like I was moving through mud, but I managed to stand. I reached into my belt and retrieved my bo staff. As it extended, I was momentary glad it was still an available option here in the dream world. I had to lean on it heavily to remain upright.

I forced myself to speak. "You're Dream Catcher. You're the one responsible for this."

"Ahh, no," she said and waggled her finger. "That would be you, young one. You broke my inhibitor."

"Yes, but you sucked us all up in here."

"I am old," she said mournfully. "It was unfortunate and yet inevitable. My mind no longer works as it once did."

"And you were already trapped in a dream."

She looked surprised, then turned sly. "Smart one. Yes, I was trapped in my own dream. While I could not infiltrate others dreams, I could have my own. And now we are trapped in yours."

"Did the inhibitor trap you?"

She considered. "I don't know. Perhaps. Certainly it held my body in place instead of allowing it to accompany me." She tilted her head and regarded me curiously. "Someone has been affecting your dream state. It surrounds you, envelops you, makes you sad."

"Who?" I asked. Maybe I could get answers after all.

Dream Catcher shrugged. "Amateur. The tendrils are weak and unsophisticated, but allowed yourself to be drawn in."

I frowned. "I don't allow anything."

"Hmm," she said. "Interesting. What were the dreams?"

"None of your business."

She gave me a sultry smile. "Ahh, those dreams.

Damn it, why does everyone automatically assume it's those dreams. I scowled at her.

"Dreams cannot create thoughts that do not already exist. They must exist in the mind before a twister can use them."

"I read you implant thoughts."

Dream Catcher shook her head. "I could twist the natural order of thoughts, give a flight of fancy a stronger hold, but said flight had to be acknowledged first. The bank manager who fantasised about robbing his own bank. The jeweller who already stole jewellery, the thoughts already existed. I just enhance."

I waved my hand. "So, what's all this then? An enhancement?"

Dream Catcher looked around. "This is where you perceived we should be. So we are."

I shook my head. "So, what? If I thought we were at the Grand Canyon—"

The room warped. The floor tumbled away. Suddenly we were shooting above the old river bed, warping through the sky and the red rock was cutting a winding chasm in the earth beneath us. Just like it had been when I'd shot over it in the Batplane a long time ago. "Holy shit," I blurted, staring at the world zipping by beneath my feet.

"Marvellous, isn't it," Dream Catcher said, dancing through the sky over to the others I'd brought with us. "We can go anywhere, anywhen. We are free to explore."

"This can't be right," I said.

"Dreams have no limits," she told me, while others exclaimed and marvelled.

I remembered what Batman had done next, dipping into the Canyon to dip and sway, shooting along the ragged walls. The dream followed and we spun through the air, cutting down and close to the walls.

Reborn gasped and laughed, exclaiming delights at things they thought they'd never see again. Little Laura cried harder.

I glanced at the crying girl. I had to protect her. "We don't belong here. How do we get out?"

Startled fear. Reborn turned to me and cried out denial.

"Please," one of them said. "Don't make us return."

"I'm old, dying." "My body hurts every day." "I don't want to go back."

I frowned. "Your families are back there." I thought of Resthaven again, and we were there. "Your loved ones. They're all in the real world. You can't want to stay here."

"They don't care." "They only remember when it's convenient." "I only see my grandchildren at the holidays."

I ignored them, as best I could. "The dream catcher, that's how we get out. Where is it?"

"Lost and gone and never coming back," Dream Catcher sang.

I shook my head. "We can find it again. With all of us looking we can find it. I need to get back." I gestured Laura and the doctors and nurses. "They need to get back. We don't belong."

Dream Catcher dismissed them with a glance. "If they didn't belong, they would never have fallen into the dream."

I rubbed my temple and leant my head against my bo staff; the headache was getting much worse. Spots were appearing in my vision, clouding my judgement. They were old, true. There was not left of life for them. Why not allow them to live in a dream world where they could travel to their hearts content?

It felt like something was worming its way into my head. Worm and slither and slide. I shook my head to clear it. "No, we need to find the—" What? What did we need to find? There was something wrong though, something I should be remembering. I closed my eyes. What did I need to remember?

"Lost in the dream. Stay with us."

"Stay with us," the reborn chorused.

Dream Catcher spoke, "Why leave when we have everything we need right here. We can slip away into nothingness happy." Her words washed over me like liquid silk. "Take us places, Robin. Help us be happy."

Someone said, "I want to see the Great Barrier Reef."

I'd seen that in pictures. Beautiful. Tranquil. Crystal clear water. White, sandy beaches. I imagined the sun would be so warm on my face. Hundreds of brilliantly coloured fish darted though waving coral. Dolphins played happily, dashing through the water. Warm water which beaded against the skin. A small island, a single palm tree. Heat and the smell of salt. Wind through my hair.

Delighted sighs. Splashing waves. Giggles and gleeful laughing.

My head throbbed.

"The Himalayas."

Majestic mountain ranges. Clouds speckled the valleys as we were lifted above the land. Not cold, because we were still wet from the beach. White, powdery snow, flakes falling from the sky.

My head pounded.

Time…

…passed.

But I was already gone.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10.**

"Oh! The moon."

"Jupiter!"

My brain scraped against my head, _scritch scritch scritch_, like hundreds of mice scratching away. "No more," I told them. "Hurts."

"Because you exert yourself in standing," I was told and my body was pushed back onto something soft. I slumped forward. "Sit. Relax. Let your memories wander."

The bo staff was like ice against my forehead. I pressed myself into its metal, willing the cold to seep and sooth. "I'm 'sposed to... do something."

"Sharing the dream. We live through you."

I ran a hand over my face. "No… that's not it."

"Laura doesn't belong here," someone said, their voice echoing from a million miles away. "None of us do. We don't belong here, we've let her voice brainwash us. Henry, you live to see those great-grandkids of yours. Camille, you spend all year knitting stuffed toys for your grandkids when they come."

"But we're young here." "We don't have to leave. Don't make us leave." "I can barely move, barely speak. What's there to go back to?"

"I was growing old with dignity," the same man from before said. "I was happier before. I want to go home. Laura needs her mom. I want to see my family. Robin-" something shook me, hard enough to make my brains slosh. "Wake up."

I couldn't. I couldn't even open my eyes to see who was shaking me.

There was the sound of someone being shoved. It's an undeniable sound of flesh smacking forcefully and skittering against the ground.

I raised my head, only to feel a hand on my hair. "Nothing to worry about," the voice of my dreams whispered. "Dream."

"Ooh, take us to the Grand Canyon."

"We've been there already. Can we be anyone we like? I want to be Superman."

_Robin, no! Wake! You must wake! _ Someone familiar. Someone who I always tried to protect. Family. Faith.

"How about Batman?"

Oh, he'd be so disappointed if he could see me now.

_Dude, what's wrong with him? Why won't he wake up? _Green. Fun. Friendship. Loyalty.

"Green Lantern for me."

_I can't tell. There's nothin' on the scan. Should we move him? _Shiny. Protector. Friend. Hope.

"Oh, oh, I know who I want to be, that lady with wings. I always wanted wings. "

_There's something else at work here. They're all connected to his mind, somehow. I can free them, but I don't know if I can do the same for Robin. _Such a pretty voice, so even in its tone. Where had I heard that voice before?

"Ahh, I know the one you mean. Hawk Girl, or was it Raven?"

Raven? I knew a Raven. She was wonderful. She had a shine to her, all of her own. She fought hard, lost and won but she never gave up. She painted her toenails rose. And when she smiled in her own quiet way, it was like gentle moonlight trickling through the window and kissing my face on a dark night, beautiful.

Raven, she was special, my dark angel. She was… Raven.

_Raven!_

My brain fired all its neurons at once. Clarity returned, hard and swift. It slammed into me, clearing my mind of Dream Catcher's enhancements. I knew that's what they were now; she was manipulating my mind, forcing me to stay in this world when I knew where I belonged. Where we all belonged.

_Dude, did he just call your name?_

The Titans! They were outside the dream. With my body. I could hear their voices echoing, whispers on the wind, but I knew them. Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Raven. My family. Raven, she knew me. I broadcasted, she told me so. She could free the others. I called out to her, as loud as I could.

_Robin?_

I clutched my bo staff, leaning on it heavily, Dream Catcher couldn't know. _Raven, the little girl, her grandfather. The doctors, the nurses. Get them all away from here. Free them._

_What about you?_

_Protect the innocent. I will distract._ I raised my head and gave Dream Catcher my best smile. "So, where we going next?"

The calls for places came in, but I looked through them, looked to little Laura and her grandfather. They watched me warily, it seemed Laura was finally letting her reborn grandfather hold her. I smiled and imagined one of Starfire's bolts for the girl. Just a little green glow. A firefly to dance around her. Something to make her smile. Something to protect her in the dark.

Then I took everyone else to the inky black. Nothingness, endless shadow, empty save for Laura's little light. Someone shrieked. Frantic movements in the dark. Stumbling and thumps as they ran into each other.

I began to laugh.

"What are you doing?" Dream Catcher growled. I could sense the worms heading for me again, but this time I was ready. The knowledge Raven was nearby gave me strength. I could hold on long enough to set the rest of them free.

"It's my dream," I said, deliberately making my voice eerie. "I can do what I like. You're only scratching the surface of the darkness of _my_ mind."

Slade. He was my worst nightmare. He haunted a dark corner of my mind, purring and whispering evil little thoughts. He judged my every move, made me second guess myself. But here, in this place, I was in control. I was the master and he was my servant and he would bend to my will.

Almost at once, his voice filled the dream, flowing like silken torture. "Robin. How delightful. Is it time to finish what we started?"

Nervous whispering in the dark. Slade had that effect on people. He could make your skin crawl just by using your name.

I grinned. "I've grown since last time."

Laura's little light in the darkness winked out. Raven had her. More presences in the dark gone, but still many more left. I had to buy time.

"I was surprised you'd let me loose. So many things to play with."

If you've ever been in a haunted house, you know the effect sudden flashes of light in the darkness brings. Your eyes are drawn to the brief glimpse of _something_ lurking in the dark. Your brain only has a split second to comprehend what appeared before it's gone, and then it fills in the rest. Zombies are scarier because you can't tell if it moved in that split second, or if it was your mind playing tricks.

Just imagine if Slade was in that flash. Then imagine if he flashed in the corner of your eye and by the time you looked he was gone. You could feel his breath on your neck, when you turned there was no one there.

The maze of mirrors has a similar effect. You can't tell which reflection is real and which is fake. Mirrors that aren't doorways, mirrors that are. You wander in a place where nothing seems real and everything around you projects yourself, looking lost and alone. Lights flicker and haunting music plays and you're certain you've been this way before, but you can't find a way out.

Now, imagine yourself in that place and Slade's chasing you through the maze of mirrors. There's a flash of him behind you, but you turn and he's not there. You can't see his face, you can never see his face, but beneath the mask you know he's smiling. He's smiling about what he's going to do to you when he gets you. You can see him reaching for you from behind and as you flee, he's suddenly ahead of you, reaching with that black hand, snatching your soul.

Sweat trickles down between your shoulder blades. Your breath comes in shaky pants. Your heart beats so fast its hammering in your chest. The world swirls and he still comes. Fingers dance on your neck. There are footsteps ringing through dark, louder than you thought possible, because sound carries in the black. Is he close? Is he far? Was that step just behind you? He's teasing his prey, he likes the chase.

There's no way to escape. Nowhere to hide, but the inky blackness where he already lurks.

I assaulted Dream Catcher with all of this. Threw it all at her at once, a personal nightmare.

Hell, I even creeped myself out.

"Nightmare's are my playground, boy," Dream Catcher's voice was sinister.

"Come at me," I told her.

Someone whimpered, lost in the dark.

"Don't you think I know? Don't you think I see? Slade might be scary for you, but he's not for me. He mentored my dream state. He helped me concoct much more frightening images than a babe like you can."

The worms were back, beating at my mind. I was rapidly losing my grip on the dream. I just had to hold on a little longer. Raven, hurry.

"He was frightened. What I can do made him betray me. Do you want to see, boy? Do you want to know what lurks in Slade's nightmares? What makes Slade shake and sweat?"

"I bet it's a spider," I said cockily. "Or a tutu. Slade hates pink. It's a pink tutu, isn't it?"

"Mock me all you want, you can't handle this."

"My dream, bitch," I said. "_My_ dream. If you could do that, you'd have done it already. You're all talk. You don't scare me. I know what Slade's afraid of. He's scared of _me_. I've come out on top every battle, every war. He can't beat me. He loses every time. _I'm_ his worst nightmare." I grinned. I made my voice teasing, lilting, like a boy singing in the dark. "And I know what yours is."

High pitched shrieking. The sounds of wings slapping air. Furry bodies tangled in hair. The sound of a cape going _whoosh_. Strikes from the dark. A shadow against the moon. Never know what direction the next hit might come from. If he caught you, you were going down. There was no return. He took you down any way possible, moral or not. He didn't care. He'd break your legs to stop you running away. Take your hand to stop your escape. No limits.

I laughed. "Perhaps you remember my _father_."

Dream Catcher shrieked as she was assaulted with my dreams.

Batman is the scariest mother fucker out there.

Dream Catcher screamed and screamed and screamed.

I gripped my bo staff to keep standing and hid all my nightmares away, returning light to this sorry dream. A single beam of light, cast over Dream Catcher's curled up body. She was the only one left, lying on the floor, sobbing with bits of snot dribbling down her face. Pathetic really.

I stood outside the light, hidden in the dark. "Where's the dream catcher?"

"I don't know," she sobbed.

"How do we leave without it?"

"We can't," she cried. "The dreamer can't leave without breaking the catcher."

I sighed and took us back to the retirement home, gave her back the light. There was no one left her but us. "They all got out," I said. "I can too."

"You can't, you mustn't." She sobbed anew. "My brother and I used to dream together. He cut the cords without finding the catcher. He's gone, lost to the storm, never dreamt again, never to wake. I loved my brother and I couldn't help him, couldn't save him. If you break the dream without the catcher, you'll break your mind."

"What about the others?" I asked, suddenly panicked. "Would they be lost?"

"You are the dreamer," she said. "Not them. The storm didn't come for them."

Confusing. "What storm?"

Dream Catcher shook her head and refused to answer.

I sighed and looked around the room. "Well. I'd better find that dream catcher."

"Please, I don't want to be alone. Don't leave me alone."

I looked down at her dribbling, snivelling mess. She was beginning to look a lot like she was in the world outside. Old, weary, faded blue eyes. I sighed again. "Come on," I said, reaching down to help her to her feet. She was heavy and I was still weak but together we struggled upright.

"Where is it usually?" I asked as we both held onto my bo staff to keep us on our feet.

"Somewhere close, in plain sight," she said. "Usually one of the first things you see."

I considered. "Well, the first thing I saw was the roof." I looked up. Nothing, but florescent lights and white. "That would have been easy," I complained.

"What did you see next?"

"There were things, like little balls of light, floating in the air. They were small. Could have been specs of dust."

Dream Catcher wailed. "If it was one of those dust specs, you'll never get out."

"Calm down," I said. "Don't give up."

"I've been lost for years," she wept. "I can't leave this place, even if you find the catcher. You took away my friends. I'm afraid of the storm."

I felt sad for her. She was desperate for companionship and desperation makes people do things they never usually would, like keep us all in the dream just so she wouldn't be alone. I sighed. "I have a friend called J'onn, he has extraordinary powers of the mind, just like yours, he's so controlled I bet he could find you in the dream. And another friend called Cyborg, he can create any sort of technology you need. I think, between the two of them, we could rig something up. Fix your power so that you could escape the dream. Control it so that you could bring some friends back to visit, every now and then."

"Really?" she asked. "You'd do that?"

"Henry could walk. You could bring his great grand kids here and he could hug them. People could see the world and you could give it to them."

"I could?"

I could already see the possibilities. "We'll get out together, I promise."

"I've only ever done bad things," she said. "Why would you trust me?"

"Because I think you could do some good. You just have to give it a chance."

She gave me a tearful smile. "Thank you."

I cleared my throat. "Next thing I saw was the chair." I turned, looking over at the chair I'd sat on before. "I need my staff," I said.

She let go, and I started to hobble toward the chair. Stupid dream, keeping my body weak. I wondered why that was. "How long have we been in here?" I asked, taking one step at a time.

"I don't know."

"Why is my body so weak here?"

She considered. "Because of the strain of keeping so many minds together. You are young, you are still attached to strength. What affects your mind, affects your mind's body. I do not know why you are still weak, perhaps because of the other twister's influence."

"Great," I mumbled. Made me want to find out who was behind the dreams even more.

The ground shook. It rolled beneath my feet. Unstable on the unsteady ground and my body still weak from supporting the dream, I fell over, sprawling on the ground. "What'd you do that for?" I asked as I rolled onto my back to look at her accusingly.

Dream Catcher looked startled. "It wasn't me."

The ground trembled. Dust rained from the ceiling. The walls cracked and shifted. The floor convulsed beneath me. The chair I'd been heading for fell on its side, skittering away and I caught a glimpse of the dream catcher attached to the bottom of the chair.

I lunged for the chair and as I did so, a fissure sliced through the ground. It cut its way toward me and I was forced to scramble backward and away from the chair. I watched in horror as the chair teetered, and rested on the lip of the fissure and I willed it not to fall. The fissure was still expanding though, so I turned and sank my staff into the floor as deep as I could and held on.

When the ground stopped trembling, my legs and chest were dangling over the precipice and I was hanging onto my staff for dear life. As I watched, concrete and dirt flaked away from the edge, my staff slipped a fraction.

I glanced at the chair and breathed a sigh of relief that it hadn't fallen. Now I just had to get to it. I hoped I had the strength to pull myself up.

"Dream twister," Dream Catcher coughed blood, and I saw she was holding her ribs as she writhed on the floor. "Strong one. I am old, weak, they are a babe and yet they eclipse me. Be wary."

That so didn't sound good.

Shadows crept along the broken wall. They had claws, scraping along the walls for the light, encircling a shattered window before it was swallowed whole, inky blackness filling the floor. Dark, menacing and I had the distinct feeling they were coming for me.

I gripped my bo staff as jagged black spikes sliced across the floor, the white lost to murk. Dream Catcher curled in on herself, her arms pressed into her chest and she was surrounded by a cocoon of light. The shadows ignored her on their mindless trek for me.

Then a glow appeared, two white orbs which melted into a face. A figure grew from the floor, sucking all the blackness up.

It was Raven.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11.**

I stared up Raven from my perilous perch on the rim of the fissure, my feet dangling toward nothing. My arms were sore from gripping my bo staff. "Ahh, help?" I said meekly.

She lunged at me. She grabbed my wrist with one hand and took a fist full of my cape and back of my shirt with her other and heaved. I could feel her powers boosting my feet as I scrambled up and away from the precipice. I paused on all fours for a moment, panting, before I rocked back to sit on my ankles. "Glad you could make it."

She stared at me in disbelief, then threw her arms around me, pressing her face to my neck. I was stunned for a moment before I wrapped my arms and held on.

She pulled away, her eyes tear bright. Her hands clasped my neck, her fingers extending up behind my ears as she looked me over. "You idiot," she said and gave me a solid whack on the back of my head. "You stupid idiot. Do you know how worried I—we've been? You've been gone for ages! "

"I was?"

"We only found out because Batman called. Apparently you failed to check in. We all thought you were still busy working on a case."

"Oh… yeah."

She hit me again, on the chest this time. "You fool. What possessed you to go off on your own?"

What was with the name calling? Even though it looked as though Raven was struggling not to cry, one little tear betrayed her and slipped down her cheek. I wiped it away without thinking about it. "I'm sorry I worried you."

Raven closed her eyes. Hands clutching at my shirt, she leant forward and rested her forehead against mine. "You imbecile. You scared me."

I leant into her, I don't know where this new attitude from her had come from, but it felt so right. I dared to hope— and then I remembered Beast Boy and everything changed. Awkwardly, I pulled away and wouldn't look at her.

She cleared her throat. "We need to get you out of here. Where's the telepath?"

"Excuse me, I hate to interrupt, but I'm not a telepath," Dream Catcher interjected.

Raven spun, standing at the same time. She shifted, standing so she was protectively in front of me. "Let him go," she snarled.

Dream Catcher shook her head. "I can't."

"Give him back, he's mine."

"What?" I squeaked… in a manly sort of way.

A look of comprehension dawned on Dream Catcher's face. "You're the one who gave him twisted dreams. I can see your tendrils in him."

"_What_?" I squeaked again. Damn it, what's wrong with my voice?

Raven's hands clenched into fists and her stance stiffened. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Dream Catcher tilted her head as she sat on the floor. "I have been a dream twister a long time, I know."

"Well, you're wrong." Raven sounded adamant and I wondered at that.

Dream Catcher leant to the right, peering around Raven at me. "How often have the dreams come?"

I frowned, wondering why she wanted to know. "Ahh—"

"Don't answer her," Raven snapped, moving to block Dream Catcher's view of me. "It's a trick."

"If they're coming more than once a week, he's in trouble," Dream Catcher said morosely. "With your clumsy tendrils, his mind will overload."

"Robin's not dreaming anything he's not supposed to," Raven snapped. "I made sure of that."

I stared at her back. For a moment it seemed impossible to comprehend. "Anything I'm not supposed to?" I questioned, my voice flat. I stood, yanked my bo staff from the ground. "What have you been doing to my dreams?"

Raven spun to face me. "No, Robin, you don't understand."

I stared at her. "I don't understand? You're damn right I don't understand. Raven, I've been dreaming of you every single night for past three weeks. _Every_ night. Every time I've closed my eyes, you've been there. You know the dreams I've been having, you saw them. Do you know how hard it is to see you every day after dreaming of you like that? Do you know how hard it is to act normal? I thought it was my fault, I did everything I could to stop them. You got so angry at me after the first one. What would you do to me?"

She shook her head, side to side ever so slightly, her large eyes locked on me and her face horrified. "No," she breathed. "Every night?"

I was hurt, unable to believe that Raven could do that to me. I clung to the hope I'd misunderstood. "Yes, every night! What did you do? Did you send them?"

She shook, trembled, her hands covering her mouth. "I didn't send them."

"Then who did?"

"No one sent them," she replied. "No one sent them. I was trying to protect you."

"Protect me from who?" I snapped. I was so angry. So angry. Everything that happened could have been avoided if she'd just confided in me. "If someone was after me, I have a right to know! Protect me from who?"

She seemed scared. "From… from… me. They're my dreams."

From Raven? The dreams were Raven's? Not mine? _Raven_ dreamt them? Holy crap.

She hung her head. "I never meant to hurt you. I didn't know what to do, after I read that first dream. It was mine, I couldn't understand why you'd had it too."

"But… but…"

"I tried to find out why it happened. I thought maybe I'd broadcasted it and because of the bond we share, somehow you'd managed to pick it up. I thought I'd closed down the link, I spent all my effort into making sure it wouldn't happen again. It couldn't possibly be every night. You were never supposed to get them at all. Are they repeats of the same dream? Or are they all different? Why didn't you tell me?"

"What does that matter?"

"Because, if it's the same, it might be a loop and I can—"

"Fixing it is not the point. Why didn't you tell me it was your dream in the first place?"

"Because you came, all apologetic about having it, and you'd said you'd never think of me that way."

I shook my head. "I said I'd never take advantage of you. Not that I didn't think of you that way. Obviously you think of me the same or you wouldn't be dreaming like that."

Raven blinked. Paused. "I thought this was what you wanted."

"You thought _what_ was what I wanted? To think I was going crazy? C'mon, Raven, don't use that excuse. You're an empath. You _know_ what I feel."

"But…"

"I felt those dreams. You were afraid. Terrified. What are you afraid of? Us? Of feeling a real emotion? Opening yourself up to the possibility? What was so frightening?"

"We'd never work."

I shook my head, dismissing what she said. "You said that already. But, Raven, you kissed me, remember? You must have felt something, since you shoved me out and ignored me for weeks on end. You haven't even given me a chance."

"It was a mistake. I can't have feelings for you."

I stared at her. "Can't or won't."

Raven drew herself up and looked me in the eye. "Won't."

She didn't like me. She didn't want me. Not in that way. She was with Beast Boy. I wouldn't stand in the way of that. "I see."

"Robin—"

"No. When we get out of here you will _fix_ these dreams," I demanded. "Then—" All at once it was too much. The events of the day, the events of the past three weeks, it was all too much. Whatever precarious balance I'd had was gone. I was dizzy. Things were tumbling out of control. The headache I thought I'd forced away when I took back command of the dream came back full force. "Oh, no." I dropped my head, pressed it to the bo staff again, desperate to pry the stupid headache from my body.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't do this," I mumbled. My legs felt like jello, wobbly and uncertain. "I need to get out of here." I took a step toward the chair where the dream catcher lay hidden and stumbled.

Raven's voice echoed, adding to the thudding of my head. "Robin?"

"I need to get out," I said clutching at my head. "Something's wrong."

"It's too much," Dream Catcher said, sounding woeful. "Too much. I never realised. I would never have kept you if I'd known. I'm so sorry."

The world around me was being unmade. Great slabs of the wall were torn from the foundations and shattered, cast into a million pieces. The pieces disintegrated into dust and vanished on the breeze. Portions of the tiled floor vanished. The room trembled.

"I have to get you out of here," Raven said. "Stand still."

I frowned and turned to her, just in time to see her eyes glow. Black sparks danced from her fingers as she lifted her hand.

A moment later, I was in agony. It was like she'd poured boiling oil into my ear. My body folded and I collapsed backward onto the ground. Fire blazed along my skull, melting my brains. I couldn't see through the water in my eyes. I couldn't draw breath, my body shut down.

"NO!" Dream Catcher shrieked. "Don't cut the cords. _Don't cut the cords_!"

My boots skittered on the ground, slashed and writhed, desperate to find purchase. My hands clawed at my head. I was positive there was something alive in there and I had to get it out, no matter what the cost. I ripped at my hair. I think I screamed.

"Robin! _Robin_!"

Wind howled and tore away the walls, the roof disappeared, sucked up into a tornado. Wind ripped at me, lifting me up into the gaping mouth of the grey maelstrom in the sky above me. Up, up and away.

"Don't leave me!"

It hurt too much to stay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

"Robin! No! Please!"

Eyes. Beautiful, tear filled eyes emerged from the dust and dirt and swirling winds of the tornado. I felt melancholy. They were searching for me. Holding me down. Pinning. Trapping me in place. Tethered. The storm was yearning for me and she wouldn't let it have me.

"I'm sorry," the blue eyed dream said. "Forgive me."

She pushed me down and down and down, then took my place in the maelstrom.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12.**

I was floating.

It was nice. Peaceful. Serene. Just me and a bright white light. No pain. No panic. No more fighting. No more obsessing over criminals. No more training. I didn't have to worry anymore. I was done. It's a nice feeling, to know you're done. Finished. Complete. I'd done good things. I deserved some rest.

No more friends. No more family. No more games and fun and happiness. No more pranks and jokes. No more conversations about security systems or computer upgrades. No more bright happy smiles, over exuberant hugs. No more dark angel.

I'd like to say I saw my parents. I like to say I hugged them and told them I loved them. I like to say they told me they'd always watch over me and they were so proud of their little robin. But I didn't see them.

I think the light knew I wasn't ready yet so it kept me in limbo. I couldn't stay here. It wasn't right. I couldn't leave my friends alone, they needed me and I needed them. I never could have turned away if I'd seen my parents again.

The light knew my decision; it seemed it was expecting it. There was a sense of acceptance and sorrow and then I was staring at a dark roof.

I knew that roof, the lines of it. I knew the metal rod which held onto the curtain separating the beds. I could hear the buzz of the air conditioning, the blip of the machine hooked up to me. The smell of disinfectant was normal, the smell of wet dog was not.

I was in the infirmary in the Batcave.

Damn, that meant Batman had pulled rank and brought me home with him. By pulling rank I mean stared my friends down, ignored all their protests and did whatever the hell he wanted. I just hoped he'd allowed them to come with me. I wanted to see them.

Prepared for the lecture which would come the minute I acknowledged that I was awake, I tried to sit up.

My body wouldn't respond. At all. I couldn't move. It was like... I was empty. Whatever force I used to move my body was gone. My eyes didn't turn when I commanded them too, they didn't deviate from that one spot on the roof. There was something down my throat. It was really uncomfortable. So was the tube in my nose. If I was able to move, I would have yanked it all out. God, was that thing _breathing_ for me? Oh, oh, oh… a catheter? Who put that in?

I tried to remember why I was here. There was a dream, I remember that. A tornado trying to take me away and a voice screaming about cords. Raven was there and she cut…

Raven cut the cords. She sliced into the dream and into my mind. Dream Catcher said that was the way she lost her brother. Raven hadn't known what she was doing, but now… I should have known it wasn't that easy to return. I was stuck in a brain that wasn't all there. Forced into a mind that was broken.

Fuck my life.

I don't know how long I lay there, staring unblinking at the ceiling while I wrestled with my unmoving body, but eventually I became aware there was someone in the room. I couldn't see them, my vision was very limited but I could hear their footsteps. A head appeared, balding black hair, a kindly face. Alfred. If I could've cried, I probably would have. He soothed the panic raging through me just by his presence.

Warm hands touched my wrists, lifted my hands. "Good afternoon, young Master Dick," he said. He glanced at the monitor to check my heartbeat, and then pushed on the tips of my fingers to check circulation. "It is Tuesday, 9 August, and it is 1 o'clock. Time for your medication." He looked up at my face and frowned, leaning in closer. "You have opened your eyes again," he said as he peered into each one. He pulled one of those little lights out of his pocket and shined it into each of my eyes, sighing as he did so. "Really, Master Dick, I hoped you had more fight than that. I'm disappointed."

I do! I'm here! Alfred, you have to help me!

He searched my face for a reaction and I got the feeling he said something similar often. He sighed again. He busied himself outside my line of sight but I was thankful he still talked. "You friends Cyborg and Beast Boy should be here soon. Starfire said she would return to visit before evening. Perhaps we should give you a bath before she comes, hmm?"

A bath? Oh God no. Gross Alfred.

Alfred stepped back into my vision, inserting a needle into the IV drip connected to me. "Shall we read from the newspaper until they arrive? Or perhaps I could read from the new computer manual Cyborg said you would appreciate. Yes, we'll do that, I certainly found it very interesting last time."

There was a scrape as the chair beside the bed was moved. Alfred sat next to me, shuffled around until he was comfortable and said, "Now, where were we?"

I liked listening to Alfred's tone more than I listened to the words. He used to read to me when I was younger too, acting out various characters. He couldn't do that with a computer manual, but I was soothed by his presence anyway. I didn't feel so alone.

"Why do you talk to him?"

Bruce. I concentrated, but I couldn't see him anywhere. He always hated it when I was sick or hurt, he couldn't cope with it. I bet he was standing at the door.

"Someone has to," Alfred abolished.

"I warned him not to go, he never listened to me."

"He sounds like someone else I know. Master Bruce, don't give up hope."

"He's brain-dead, Alfred," Bruce snapped. "Because he did something stupid. That there is just an unrealised corpse. A body hooked up to a machine waiting to die."

I was not brain-dead. I wasn't! You just wait 'til Raven got here. She'd be able to sense me. Fuck you, Bruce, for giving up on me so quickly.

Alfred stood and threw the book he was holding. I've never seen him so angry. I hoped it hit Bruce and I wished I could see the expression on Bruce's face. I heard a thump and imagined it smacked Bruce in the face. Nice thought. "How dare you," Alfred snapped.

"Alf—"

Alfred thrust out an arm. "You do more harm than good. Get out."

I wanted while the stupid machine breathed for me until Alfred sighed and leant on the bed. I could feel his weight. He shifted so he was leaning over me. "Do not listen to him," Alfred said and patted my hand. "He's just… just… he can't express feelings. He's angry."

Well, I was angry too. I wanted out.

"He's angry that he wasn't there to protect you. He's…"

Don't try and explain Bruce, Al. I grew up with the man. I know. This was an enemy he couldn't fight, couldn't back me up on. Of course he'd feel that way. He's already guilty about what he said, and I've already forgiven him.

"I'm not ready to give up on you," Alfred told me.

Good. I wasn't ready to be given up on.

Cyborg and Beast Boy arrived not long after that. I heard Alfred greeting them and then their loud presence filled the room. Alfred propped me up, I didn't know why until Cyborg planted a TV at the foot of the bed as well as a play station. Beast Boy sat on one side of my bed, Cyborg on the other, both of their legs touching mine. I felt squashed, but I didn't care.

They played and it was like being back in the Tower. They teased each other. Beast Boy bounced on the bed. While they played, they talked to me as though I was there. They didn't know I was, of course.

Beast Boy would try out a move on his character on the screen with a joyful, "Robin, watch this."

Cyborg would counter and say, "He just can't beat me, can he, man?"

Beast Boy would cross his eyes, poke his tongue out at Cyborg, and then lean toward me as though he was sharing a secret and say something snarky. I would laugh but my body wouldn't.

I can't tell you how much their boisterous fun rejuvenated me. I responded in my mind when they asked me something in the hope that maybe, just maybe, my body would follow.

Cyborg and Beast Boy stayed with me until Starfire arrived. She came in and they greeted her exuberantly, double kisses on her cheeks and then demanded she referee the game because I refused to make a decision. She smiled and said she would then kissed my forehead and sat on the bed next to my hip. She lifted one of my limp hands and held it on her lap.

It was quieter when Cyborg and Beast Boy left.

Starfire'd brought a bag with her, things she thought I'd like or needed. Apparently she'd promised she'd bring them last time she visited and it made me wonder just how long I'd been absent. Three days, by the date Alfred said. Wow, disturbing. Starfire had brought my hair gel too, and spent a good ten minutes gelling my hair into what she deemed to be an acceptable Robin style. I appreciated it; some of the hair was in my eyes. I just hoped she wasn't planning on painting my nails next.

She sighed and sat next to me on a chair, holding my hand. "I am not doing the dating with Red Star anymore," she said sadly. "He did not understand my need to be here with you. I am unsure, but he seemed to except I would be available for him to see or speak to as he wished and I could not, not when you are like this. I cannot be with someone that does not understand what you and I have."

I felt sorry for Starfire. I wanted to tell her there were other fish in the sea, but my lips remained mute.

"It is okay," she said, brightening. "I wished to try the dating and I have. It was an enlightening experience. Next time I shall be more fastidious."

Picky, Star, the word is picky.

She gave me a sad look. "If you were here, you would tell me I used the wrong word then and you would give me the correct one. You promised I would not lose you," she said, tears pooling. "And yet you are gone."

Oh, Star.

Starfire wiped away her tears and cleared her throat. "We have been unable to locate Dream Catcher," she told me. "Batman spends every waking hour hunting. He has enlisted the Justice League in the search for her. We hope that when we find her, she will be able to fix what she has done to you."

What Dream Catcher did to me? Dream Catcher saved me, when Raven cut the cords. She pushed me down and took my place in the storm. Starfire, where's Raven? Why hadn't Raven come? Did she get caught in the storm too?

Starfire didn't hear me so she talked of other things. She told me what Silkie was doing. She read me her latest letter from Galfore. She read some of the get well soon letters I'd been getting from the school children in Jump City. She even put a few of their drawings on the wall to brighten up the place.

I wanted to tell her everything would be okay, but I couldn't. I didn't know.

Alfred came to tell Starfire it was time for me to sleep. I didn't want her to leave, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. She promised she'd be back the following day. Hers was the last smiling face I saw before Alfred closed my eyes.

Alone in the dark I fretted, waiting for the medication to kick in. Where was Raven? Why hadn't she come? Had she gotten caught in the storm? What was going to happen if I never regained control of my body? Was I destined to lie on this bed forever, or just until Bruce decided it was time to turn the machine off? If he did, would my body breathe on its own, or would I return to the light?

I wasn't ready to die. I'd only just begun.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13.**

The worst part was I was there. Watching. People moved around me unaware. They would talk to me, but as the days dragged on, the words were fewer. They were losing hope.

Well, so was I.

I fought as hard as I could. I screamed inside my own mind. I even prayed. But there was something missing. I didn't know what. Some part of me, swallowed up by the tornado I saw or snipped away by Raven when she tried to separate me from the dream. It had to be something vital. Something so important my body couldn't function without it.

I thought about Dream Catcher often. She'd probably be able to explain to me why I was stuck. But she was gone now, offering herself to the maelstrom in my place. I wished her sacrifice had been worth it.

I didn't blame Raven. She didn't know. I didn't have a chance to tell her all we needed to do was grab the dream catcher from under the chair and I could get out of the dream.

I wished she'd visit.

Cyborg, Beast Boy and Starfire came every day. Alfred tended me diligently. Bruce was there too, lurking at the doorway, but he never said anything. Not that I was surprised.

I didn't know why Raven wouldn't visit until Starfire and Beast Boy talked about it.

"I think Raven feels guilty," Beast Boy said one morning when the conversation had lulled. "That's why she won't come again."

My ears pricked immediately.

"What for?" Cyborg asked curiously.

"She did not save him," Starfire said.

"No one blames her," Cyborg snapped, I think the need to protect Raven made his voice harsh.

"Batman does," Starfire replied. "I heard him yelling at her. She was the only one able to enter the dream. She was the only one able to help him, she believes she failed. I would feel the guilt as well."

"I don't know what to do," Beast Boy said. "She won't talk to me. She won't eat. I don't know if she's sleeping. She just stands over those books and reads. Star, have you had any luck?"

"No. But I will continue to try."

"She's probably tryin' to find a way to help Robin," Cyborg said. "She'll come when she finds answers."

"It'd be more help if she showed some damn emotion and came and visited," Beast Boy mumbled.

"Beast Boy," Starfire admonished.

"I'm sorry, Star," he said immediately. "But it's frustrating. It's like she doesn't care at all. She stays locked up and hasn't come to see him. If it was me lying there, I'd want to see her. I'd be hurt if she didn't visit."

"It is different for Raven," Starfire started to say, but Beast Boy interrupted.

"She's not normal. A normal person would be upset. A normal person would cry. A normal person would do everything they could to make their friends feel better. It's like she's dead inside."

"Raven cares more than we know," Starfire told him, her voice cracking. "She has to suppress her emotions so much to protect those around her from her powers. When I had them, even the slightest amount of happiness or sadness was enough to break something. It is difficult to balance. She is doing the best she can."

"Well, she needs to do better," Beast Boy yelled, getting to his feet. "She needs to feel. She claims to be an empath but she won't put herself in our shoes. We need to know she's hurting as much as we are!"

"Beast Boy—"

"Robin's lying there," he pointed at me. "He's getting weaker every day. Robin's supposed to be invincible. We're the ones with all the powers and we're losing the one thing that keeps us human. And she can't take two minutes out of her oh so important day to come and see him! Stop making excuses, Starfire. Just stop it."

Starfire burst into tears. She covered her face with her hands and fled from the room.

"Aww, shit," Beast Boy said immediately, his ears drooping. "Damn it, Cy, I didn't mean that."

"You're only sayin' what we're all feelin', BB," Cyborg said. "Star knows that. Go. Catch up to her. She probably needs a hug."

Cyborg took Beast Boy's seat beside me. He sighed heartily and rested his head in his hands. "It's bad, man," he said eventually. "Real bad. I don't know how you do it. Starfire feels everythin'. Raven won't allow herself to feel anythin'. Beast Boy blames himself too. He thinks he should've stopped you leavin', or gone with you. I don't know what to do. I can't fill your shoes. I don't want to." He gave a sad sort of snort. "My feet are too big anyway." He sighed. "We need you, man. You need to wake up."

If I could, I would have done so already, Cy. You know that.

"I'm tryin' to be strong, but there's only so much I can do, y'know." He coughed and cleared his throat. "I ain't no good at feelings, Robin." He stood and squeezed my forearm. "Sarah sends her love. She'd visit, but… well… the evil lurker won't let her."

The room felt empty when Cyborg left. I felt hollow inside. I closed my eyes, the only part of me I could move and hoped for sleep. I don't know how long I lay there for, alone in the dark. I think I slept, it's difficult to tell. I don't dream. I haven't since Dream Catcher took my place.

Maybe that's what I'm missing. Maybe that's what's lost, my dreams. She said her brother was never able to dream again. I didn't want to think about it.

Someone took my hand. Since my eyes were closed, I didn't know who. Odd, now that I couldn't move, I wasn't worried about who entered and left my room. I was never on guard, primed for anything that could happen. I just existed.

The machine by my bed breathed for me, its raspy mechanical noise the only thing in the room. I idly wondered who it was beside me. Maybe J'onn, trying to locate me psychically again. He hadn't had much luck last time, even though I'd spent the whole time screaming at him. I was starting to have serious doubts about the psychic capacity in the Justice League.

My hand was wet. That was weird.

"Oh, Robin, I'm so sorry."

My heart leapt. I actually heard the monitor beside me jump a beat. Raven was here. Raven had come. Damn it, my eyes. Open, stupid eyes. I want to see her. I want her to hear me. I knew she could.

"I didn't know. I didn't understand and I cut those cords and I broke you."

Eyes! Open now!

"I've read every book I can think of. Tried every spell. I contacted my mother and have all the monks working on it. There's nothing that can fix this. Nothing. Every book says the same. There's no coming back from a broken dream."

Openopenopenopenopenopen.

"I didn't know about those dreams. I thought it was just the once. I should have checked and I hate myself that I didn't. I didn't know what I'd put you through. You were right, I was scared. I've never felt this way before. I'm frightened."

My eyes opened and I stared at the roof. Yes! Now, Raven, look at me! See me here!

"I thought it would be okay. I thought it was just me having them. A few months ago, there was a spell I tried to release your darkest desire. It said it was safe, just a vision. I thought it would be interesting. Only it didn't work, and then when I dreamt, it was you. There's always been something between us, I didn't realise… I never... thought… I mean… I knew Starfire wasn't in love with you, but I never thought that I could see you that way."

She sighed. "Everything was so clear. The dreams were so… nice. Thrilling. My little secret. I could experience emotions and not have to hurt anyone doing it. But it felt so real too. And then you had the same dream and…" She cleared her throat and changed what she was going to say. "I kissed you to see if the feelings crossed over. And you kissed me back and it felt so right. So real. It was so strong. I couldn't deal with it. I'm so sorry."

See me Raven! We can talk later, just see me!

"It would have changed everything. I didn't know if I could risk it. I'm not strong like you. After Malchior, well… I don't know if I could give my heart away again. But I couldn't give up the dream. Then Beast Boy asked me out. I was confused. I know I have feelings for him and Beast Boy's feelings, they've been steadily getting stronger, I had time to adjust. He's like an ember, quietly burning away until I'm warm through and I liked that. I like him. But you… you were a blaze. It felt like you just suddenly switched on, like you'd made some sort of connection and your feelings were suddenly there. It was so bright and I was overwhelmed. I thought… maybe they'd switch off just as easy, and I was scared. I thought, if I stayed away, things could go back to normal. But you just kept getting brighter and brighter. And then this happened and I've lost you anyway. It hurts, it hurts me and it hurts both of you. I'm a horrible person."

No, you're not. You're a wonderful person. You're just scared. We can work this out. Find me, I want to go home.

"You both deserve someone who can make you burn. You deserve someone who lights up your life, who is happiest when you're around and isn't afraid to show it. I can't be that. I'm not right for you. I can't change who I am. Emotionally stunted. I'm not worth the effort. It's not fair on you, and it's not fair on Beast Boy."

Why don't you let me make that decision? Stop beating yourself up over this and get me out!

She pressed her lips to my fingers. "I didn't mean it, Robin. You need to know that. I didn't mean won't. I would, I do. I would in a heartbeat."

Oh, Raven, I would too… why is there a lizard on the ceiling?

"But I broke you and I can't get you back."

Oh, no.

She kissed my fingers again and gently placed my hand back on the bed. "I'll keep looking. I'll never stop looking. I'll find a way to get you back. I promise." And with that she was gone and I was left staring at the lizard.

The lizard dropped from the roof, morphed. "Well," Beast Boy said, sadly. "That explains a lot."

If I could have moved, I would have cringed. It was wrong that he found out like that. I wish I could've told him I was sorry.

Beast Boy turned his head away. "She didn't even sense me on the roof, she was so upset. I saw her coming in here and I thought I'd give her a piece of my mind…" his shoulders slumped. "I really thought… you know. Well, of course you know. I'd probably be good for her. Only she doesn't want me, does she? She does and she doesn't. I'm the slow burn, but you're the blaze. It's hard to see the coals with the fire in the way."

Very poetic, Beast Boy. I'm sorry.

"She's not good with emotions, Starfire's right about that. She's going to screw up… and I guess I'm the screw up."

You're not a screw up, Beast Boy. Don't think that.

Beast Boy sighed. "I'll let her off the hook. There's no point delaying it. I'll be okay. There were questions about us already. Besides, us animals bounce back quick. I'm lucky I'm not one of those that mate for life. There'll be another girl I can wag my tail at, eventually. I don't think I can be friends with her for a while, but I can be her team mate. So don't worry about that."

He was saying the words, but I knew he didn't really mean it. He was just trying to make himself feel better.

Beast Boy turned his head back to look at me, his face hard, determined, more mature than I've seen him in a while. "I know you see me, I made sure you saw me on the roof, 'coz I know you're in there, you fucking bastard. For some reason, they can't tell, but I know. Your scent still changes when she's near. You better fucking wake up, properly, douche bag. If you don't, you're going to leave her alone, pining for you. God knows she doesn't want me."

He leant over me, peering into my eyes, a stern expression on his face. "Dude, you wake up and you do it soon. I'd tell Raven, but I don't think you want an emotionally charged demonness lurking around in your head right now and last time she tried, well it wasn't pretty. It's not like they'll believe me, you have to show them. You have to wake up." He shook his finger at me. "Don't you dare let me be the bigger man and then not take care of your end of the deal. You got me?"

Gotcha, Beast Boy. Loud and clear.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14.**

Beast Boy's words gave me strength. I forced myself to ignore the drugs Alfred pumped into me to help me sleep. I fought against the dark.

I had to let them know I was here. Somehow, they had to see me. If I could just make my body do something irregular, maybe they'd see.

My eyes were mine. I could blink. I could close them if I wanted. I could open them (yes that was harder to do, but I don't care.). But I couldn't do that with any regularity and I'd already tried to show them through my eyes and they hadn't seen. I needed something that would make a noise.

My heart was mine. It jumped a beat, just from seeing Raven before. And that gave me an idea.

You know that whole mind over matter garbage they spew at you? Well, it's not garbage. It works. Batman taught me a way to regulate my heartbeat. He said it helped defeat lie detector tests and he made me run those tests again and again and again until he was satisfied. It involves controlling your body's reaction, controlling your heartbeat so that your pulse didn't change when you lied. It always went to the reverse too, deliberately making your heart increase to induce a false reading.

It had been a while since I'd done it, and I hoped I had not lost the ability. I concentrated, harder than I had before. My body actually broke out in a sweat, but I wouldn't give up.

The heart monitor blipped. My pulse rate had gone up.

Now, most wouldn't find that a victory. Big deal, walk a flight of stairs. Consider the fact that I couldn't move my stupid body. A pulse rate jump was a big thing.

Now for the tricky part. I wasn't even sure I could do this. I wasn't sure that Batman could do this if he tried. Not to mention how fucking dangerous it was to manipulate your heart like this. I could force a heart attack if I did it wrong, but I was desperate.

It took me most of the night, but I managed to do it. Now, all I needed was for someone to see it.

Alfred wandered in, yawning. He checked on me first every morning, like clockwork. He sipped a cup of tea, wearing a fluffy black robe and slippers. I could see his grey pyjamas underneath. I always teased him about that robe, he's normally so immaculate and to catch him slumming it in the morning was just funny.

I was glad to see him. Finally, I had a way to communicate. I just hoped he saw it.

He placed his cup on the bedside table beside me. "Morning, young Master Dick."

Morning Alfred, check what I can do.

I concentrated. If the stupid ventilator allowed it, I would have been panting with effort. Beside me, the heart monitor blipped. Three seconds fast, three seconds slow, three seconds fast. There wasn't really much difference between the fast and the slow beats, just a few beats per minute and I hoped it would be enough. 53, down to 45, back up to 53. It wasn't perfect, the stupid machine tracked the rise and fall slower than I would have liked, but it was all I had.

Alfred changed my IV bag. He changed several other bags that I don't want to think about.

I kept my message going. Three fast, three slower, then three fast. I stared at him, willing him to notice.

Alfred fussed around my bed. "We shall give you a bath later, Master Dick, and change the bedding. It seems you were rather hot last night. I will turn the heating down."

Alfred, the monitor. Notice the monitor.

He picked up his tea. "I must get breakfast stared," he told me. "Master Bruce will be waiting."

Let him wait. Alfred, look at the fucking monitor.

Alfred headed for the door. I panicked, he had to see. He had to see. Bruce didn't visit so I couldn't count on him. I don't think Starfire or Beast Boy knew Morse code and I couldn't count on Cyborg knowing. I couldn't wait to see either.

I did something I hoped I didn't have to do. I hoped I survived it. I hoped it would be enough for him to wake up and noticed what I was doing. I changed my heartbeat again. Just a little irregularity. Mild heart attack, call it what you will. Just enough to be noticed.

The alarm beside the bed went off.

I was screaming on the inside. It had hurt, like nothing had hurt before. There was a deep pressure in my chest and my left arm went numb for a moment and I thought I'd overdone it. My throat closed up around the stupid tubes and I choked on them. My body convulsed, and I think that surprised me the most, my body had a physical reaction to what I was doing to my heart.

Alfred dropped his cup of tea. The china shattered as it hit the ground. He hit some sort of alarm. A red light flashed on the ceiling.

Stupid, really. What'd I done started a chain reaction I couldn't control. The heart monitor beside the bed went nuts. As I wrestled with my heart, Alfred surged into action, scrambling for all sorts of needles and equipment.

Bruce dashed into the room, wearing nothing but silk pants. He took a look at what was happening and headed for the crash cart. Why he had one, I couldn't fathom, but I so wasn't about to let him shock me with those paddles he was preparing. Good to know he wasn't going to let me go without a fight though.

The Titans emerged from the swirl of Raven's cape. I only really knew they were there because I could see the top end of her raven, the shriek of her arrival lost in the chaos of what was occurring around me. I guess they must have hacked into Bruce's alarm. Good.

"Alfred, get his shirt open," Bruce snapped and I heard the sound of squirting. He was preparing the shock paddles. If he zapped me, my heart would return to its natural rhythm, but I'd lose all control I had, I was sure of it. Every muscle would spasm; my heart would be so bruised I'd not be able to communicate with it for a while.

Panicked, I stared up my heart jumps again, albeit skewed rhythm. It hurt like a wicked bitch, the strain my heart was already under.

Alfred all but ripped the shirt I was wearing open and these cold, wet things went on my chest.

Fuckfuckfuck! What did I have to do to get people to notice me? Raven, help me! See me!

My body was jerking, my head lolling and I saw a flash of a stricken looking Starfire, a panicked Cyborg and a devastated Raven. Bruce was coming at me with those paddles.

A growl filled the room. Something large landed on my bed. A huge green paw landed before my eyes.

"Beast Boy, get off," Bruce snapped, trying to push past very large teeth.

Beast Boy growled at him. I couldn't see what was going on past the paw, so I just concentrated on controlling my heart. There was a scuffle, I'm sure. Beast Boy's weight shifted all over the place, I was bounced, jostled and knocked. I think they tried to lift him off. Something was zapped, by Raven most like. Sparks flew as something else blew up.

"Young lady, control yourself."

"Beast Boy, get off the bed!"

Cyborg's roar was what I heard next. "Y'all shut up and listen."

You know, one good thing about Cyborg is his vocal processors. When he hacks himself, they can be very, very, very loud. Hard to ignore. Everybody froze.

"Watch the heart monitor," Cyborg continued, lowering his voice again. "Something's happenin'."

Now I was given the chance, I wrestled with control. I allowed my heart to regulate its beat itself, gave myself a moment's breather. My body stilled. The heart monitor returned to normal.

"Holy shit," Bruce blurted.

Beast Boy shifted back to normal and laughed. "You know, dude, when I said find a way, I didn't expect you to be so dramatic."

If I could have smiled, I would have.

He leant in close so I could see him. "Now, show them what I see."

They were all watching the heart monitor. Bruce was poised to strike, waiting for any sign of irregularity. Beast Boy still crouched over me, giving me the time I needed. Very, very clearly, I sent my signal. Three fast, three slow, three fast. I stopped, rested and sent it again.

Bruce dropped the paddles. "S.O.S."

Raven swept by them all, planted a hand on my cheek and dove headfirst into my mind.

Everything was blue, as far as the eye could see. A line divided the shades, a light sky blue and deep, rich navy blue. I was floating in the light blue it seemed. Not floating, falling. Sky was rushing past me, but I wasn't really 'me' either. I couldn't see my hands, or my arms. I couldn't see my eyelids. It felt like I was viewing the world from a screen, I was part of it, and yet separated.

The darker blue was the ocean. As I sped toward it, it began to take up more of my vision. I went through a cloud, it covered everything in white, and when I broke through the other side Raven was there, falling just like I was.

Her arms were pulled into her body, her ankles together. Her cape billowed out behind her as she dropped through the sky. There was a steely expression on her face as she stared down at the ocean below us. She looked like an arrow, shooting through the sky and the water below was the target.

I got the feeling if we hit the water that was it. We'd be lost completely. So why was she aiming for it so intently?

She was looking for me. She thought I was trapped beneath the swell, not flying above the world. If I wanted to be found, I had to go to her. I had to control my descent.

Suddenly, I had a body, I could see my hair flapping in front of my face, could see the blurred outline of my nose. I raised my arm to see my hand waving at me. After days of being trapped, unable to move, you wouldn't believe my elation at being able to move by myself. I wriggled everything, just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Everything felt as it should, every movement was mine. I was whole again.

If I had a body, I could reach Raven.

She hadn't seen me, still intent on her dive. I slapped my hands to my sides, legs plastered together and put my head down, shooting straight for her. "Raven!"

She floundered in the air, shifting from a graceful eagle to a flopping duck. Her arms and legs spread wide too quickly and she was sent into a spin. The cape smacked her in the face and by the time she was free the ocean was very large beneath us.

She looked shocked to see me, then as happy as Raven could look. "Robin!" she cried and held out her hand toward me.

We swam though the air toward each other. I was no flyer, there was no trapeze here for me, and Raven was more of a levitator but we were determined to reach each other.

Water swelled and surged below us. I could hear the wind as it raced across the surface, the crash as each swell tumbled back onto itself. It took us a couple of attempts, but I managed to grab her fingers and she grabbed on to mine. The elated look on her face must have matched mine.

"I found you!" she cried, the wind of our descent snatching her words.

I smiled at her.

She used her free hand to move some of her hair out of her face. "I was scared," she said frantically, as though she had to confess everything right then. "I never meant for this to happen—"

"I know, I heard you."

Her mouth dropped open. "What?"

I tugged her hand, pulled her until I could reach her neck with my other hand. "C'mere," I said and kissed her.

It was brief; the wind was forcing us apart even now. But it was charged, all the emotion I'd been feeling the last month, all the feelings she'd been experiencing, they were all wrapped up in this one kiss. There was a sense of truth and understanding flashing between us.

I grinned and she smiled shyly back at me. Everything was right. We had our moment.

As one, we remembered the peril we were in and looked down. Somehow, I expected we would be floating, but the water was still coming for us. Raven looked back up at me, panicked. "Robin, I can't stop us."

I squeezed her fingers. Suddenly I was very calm, I can't explain it. "It'll be okay."

"I can't lose you now." She flapped her free hand, gathered her legs up toward her as though she could will flight. She clenched her eyes shut as she desperately tried to stop our fall.

"Raven?" I waited until she looked at me. "I would too." Before she could gape at me, I twisted in the air, pulling her close. I curled my body around her protectively, my back to the water.

We hit the water and somewhere in the bubbles, spray and chaos, we separated.

I sank like a stone. Raven didn't. I could see her disappearing above me, caught at the surface. I could see her reach, her arm stretched out toward me, bubbles escaping her mouth as she tried to get to me. The surface held her though, she couldn't dive beneath. I was glad. She didn't need to become lost too.

Nothing lived here. The ocean was empty, no fish, no rocks or coral. No floor, just inky black below me. The water grew cold. Dark. I didn't feel the need to breathe. There was no pressure on my chest. My body was heavily but I didn't struggle. Instead I felt calm, protected, just like I had when I'd been in the light.

There was a beacon way down below, growing stronger as I sank toward it. I watched it, curious, wondering about the little light in the dark. It seemed to draw me in, call to me. I could feel it pulling, tugging; it wanted me to hurry up.

I wasn't afraid. If it was time, I was resigned to go. I was just glad I'd got to see Raven again.

There was a figure down there, alone in the dark. A shadow around the light. It was hard to make out. So I watched, still sinking downward. It wouldn't be long now.

It was Dream Catcher. Dream Catcher of her youth, blonde hair, blue eyes, happy smile. "I found it," she said, even though her mouth never opened. I could hear her voice inside my head. She was cradling something in her hands. It emitted its own glow, light shining through her fingers. That's what I had seen. That's why I hadn't struggled.

I stopped sinking; either that or she matched my pace. We floated there together. Her hair billowed around her, giving her an eerie, mysterious glow almost. I tried to speak, but only bubbles escaped my mouth.

"It was lost," she told me as we floated in the water. "Like my brother. Lost in the storm. I was always too afraid to go but you gave me strength. I found him and I found the part you lost." She held out her hands to me. "Thank you," she said.

It was the dream catcher. I stared at her with a mixture of gratitude and shock. I hadn't dared hope I'd be able to escape the coma by escaping the dream. I took her precious cargo, that piece of myself I'd left behind, and cradled it to my chest. Such an incredible gift and yet I could do nothing for her.

"It's not all there," she warned. "You were lost. Sometimes there is no going back. But you are strong, Robin. Your light shines. You have to make the connection yourself."

How, I wanted to ask her. Come with me, I wanted to say.

"Remember the dream," she said and placed a hand against my cheek.

I promised her with a nod and snapped the catcher.

_**

* * *

A/N** Is it possible to change your heart beat. Absolutely. With training. It's one of the ways people can circumvent lie detector tests. Free divers do it as well as their breathing to be able to last under water longer. Is it possible to do what Robin did? Yes, but probably not to that extreme. Tibetan Monks can change their heartbeat in between beats, but it takes years of practice and meditation. Robin has extraordinary control over his body, we're seen that time and time again. I am taking poetic licence here; in world where we have superheros flying around, I think a human changing his heartbeat a couple of beats a minute is a little thing. Desperation made him do something he wouldn't normally be able to do. _


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15.**

I woke up in a state of panic. I didn't have a clue where I was. My body moved with ferocious vigour, arms and legs all over the place. There was something down my throat and it was choking me. I pawed at my mouth, found some sort of tube down it. It had to come out. Right now.

Bad idea. Not only did it create massive amounts of pain but bodies landed on me. Elbows in my shoulders, hands on my knees to hold me still. I lashed out, panicked, hit and kicked in a desperate bid to be free.

"Master Dick, if you want the tube out, hold still."

"Alurgk?"

A familiar face floated before me and I forced myself to relax, as much as I was able. I held as still as I could, but it's hard when you can feel that tube slithering out of you. There was a flash of red hair floating above me, Starfire, holding my shoulders to the bed. I think I grabbed her forearms and held on in an effort to remain still. Cyborg and Beast Boy each held a leg down, Raven stood at the end of the bed with her hood raised. My heart jumped a beat at seeing her and I didn't know why. Bruce, dressed in his pyjamas of all things, helped Alfred. I stared at Alfred as he concentrated on removing the tubes, willing him to move faster.

Finally, I was free, coughing and spluttering and throwing up on the floor, off all embarrassing things to do. I told myself it was reflex, but even that didn't stop the embarrassment.

"Easy, kiddo," Bruce said, easing me back on to the bed.

Wow, was I wiped. I felt like I'd be hit by a truck and run over several times. I tried to speak but my voice all husky and nothing came out right. I had to clear my throat a few times to get it working, my mouth was so dry.

"Drink this," Alfred said, passing me a small plastic cup of water.

I gulped it down and sucked in several ragged breaths.

"Dude, that was totally awesome, how'd you do that?" Beast Boy exclaimed, bouncing up and down on the spot.

"Do what?" I asked. "What happened? What's going on?"

Beast Boy and Cyborg stared at me open mouthed. Starfire floated down to Raven's side and put her hands on Raven's shoulders. Bruce leant in close. "What's today's date?"

I frowned. "July 7."

"A month," Raven mumbled. "It matches."

"Oh no," Starfire said, looking upset.

Beast Boy's jaw dropped. "Dude, he's lost a month?"

"It is not uncommon," Alfred explained. "Especially with injuries of the mind."

"Injuries of the mind?" I echoed. "What happened?"

"Perhaps, Master Bruce, I could suggest you make breakfast this morning. I am certain Master Dick's friends would appreciate some food. I will help Master Dick… ahh… freshen up."

Stunned, I watched as Alfred ushered them all out of the room, protests and all, closing the door behind them. Alfred can be quite forceful when he wants to be but I was confused. Freshen up? What'd he mean by that? And why was there a strange tugging on my— I peeked under the blankets and went bright red… oh. Oh! Oh, damn.

Alfred brought me up to speed while I was… erm… freshened up. He ran a buttload of tests before I was even allowed to get out of bed. I felt loads better after having a shower and getting dressed. The gel in my hair was odd and I wondered which friend had thought to do that.

I still couldn't quite believe I'd lost a month. Nor did some of the things Alfred told me make much sense. "I still don't understand why I'd go after Dream Catcher in the first place. And alone of all things. I know better than that. I wonder what happened while I was in her dream."

Alfred insisted I use a wheelchair to travel upstairs into Wayne Manor for some food, even though I thought I was fine. I would have argued, but I wanted to see my friends. "I do not know," Alfred answered. "Perhaps your friends can enlighten you."

"I hope so. Raven got me out?"

"That is my understanding."

"Maybe she'll know." I sighed. "Can't I walk?"

"No. We are nearly there."

I smiled, anxious to see them. "Is the chair Starfire proof?"

Alfred chuckled. "I do not believe so."

I could see the kitchen doors up ahead and hear the voices of the Titans on the other side. "Better brace yourself then."

Starfire was indeed the first one to rush to greet me. She roped her arms around my neck and peppered my cheek with kisses. Interesting, I thought as I hugged her, and I wondered if anything had changed between us in the past month. But, she didn't kiss my lips and she stepped back to wipe away her tears. I let her keep my hand though. I liked the touch, for some reason I felt like I'd been unable to touch anyone for a while.

Beast Boy hugged me next, just long enough to give me a pat on the back. Cyborg surprised me by hunkering down to my level and patting me on the knee. Bruce was there, just watching and by the expression on his face I knew we'd be having words later. All the same, he did squeeze my shoulder before returning to the meal he was cooking.

"How ya feelin', man?" Cyborg asked.

"Fine," I replied, trying to peer around him to find Raven. "Except for this feeling I've forgotten something."

My joke fell flat. There was an uncomfortable silence.

"You really don't remember anything, do you?" Raven asked quietly, her voice sounding rough. She was all wrapped up in her cloak, a defensive mechanism. I wondered at that.

"No," I said, smiling sheepishly at her. "Care to fill me in? I understand you saved me from Dream Catcher."

For some reason, Raven got teary. She took a step backward and hung her head. Beast Boy placed a hand on her shoulder and Raven gave him this desperate sort of look and buried her face in his shoulder.

I frowned. I didn't like Beast Boy hugging her and I didn't know why. She should be hugging me.

Beast Boy gave me an apologetic glance as he patted Raven on the back. "It's been rough on her," he explained. "We kinda thought you were lost."

"Oh."

Starfire patted my hand helplessly before she released it and went over to Beast Boy, gently taking Raven from him. "We shall go wash our faces," she said quietly and escorted Raven from the room.

"What'd I say?" I asked Beast Boy and Cyborg.

The two of them shared a look I couldn't decipher, shrugged and proceeded to get into a verbal brawl about what Bruce was cooking for breakfast.

Concerned, I wheeled the chair from the room, then stood, leaving the chair by the door. There was only one bathroom close to where we were, so I headed there.

"Do not fret," Starfire was saying through the partially open door. I lingered in the hallway to listen, using the wall as a support. "He will remember in time."

"What if he doesn't?" Raven said mournfully. "What if he never remembers?"

"Raven, if it was important enough to him, then he has not truly forgotten. Besides, you could always talk to him, perhaps prompt him to remember."

"I couldn't. I don't do feelings."

I blinked. Feelings? What feelings?

"Of course you do," Starfire told her. "Do not be silly. You do feelings very well, you just do them differently."

Raven sighed. "Star…"

"Robin knows this. He accepts this. We all do."

"But he's forgotten," Raven said, sniffling again. "They started everything, if he forgot, how do I… how can I…"

I forgot? Forgot what? Who started everything? What was going on?

"Oh, Raven, it will be okay," Starfire said, and I could see her hugging Raven through the crack in the door. Odd to see Raven clutching at Starfire, I wondered what was going on. I inched closer. Starfire stroked Raven's back. "I will help any way that I can… Robin?"

I cringed, apparently I'd gotten too close and the door had swung open enough to see me. Sprung, I pushed the door open further. Raven turned away, raising her hood and dabbing her face with a tissue. "Ahh, hi," I said. "I was just seeing if everything was okay."

"Should you be walking?" Starfire asked.

"I feel fine." I took a step toward Raven, concerned. "Raven, what's wrong?"

Starfire glanced at Raven, Raven turned her head to Starfire and I wished I could see her expression. Starfire nodded, then smiled at me. "I shall take you back to the kitchen," she said and took my elbow.

"But, I want to talk to Raven, and I didn't get a hug from her yet," I complained as she dragged me away. I stumbled from the suddenness of the direction change and Starfire wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Raven is… not herself," Starfire explained. "Give her time."

I regarded Starfire as she walked us through the halls. "You seem different," I said.

Starfire smiled at me. "Different, how?"

"More confident, I guess. I mean, all those kisses on my cheek, now you have an arm around me… did we… ah…" How was I going to phrase this? I mean really, 'Ah, Starfire, did we start dating and I can't remember?' is not really the best thing.

Starfire laughed. "No. I am still your best friend who is a girl."

Well, that was a relief. I need Starfire as a friend. I didn't want things to change. "Oh, good."

"I have just accepted a few customs I did not know about before."

That was interesting. "Like what?" I asked curiously.

"Dating," she said and there was this mischievous twinkle in her eye.

I pulled up short, my protective nature rising. "Dating? Who?"

"No one at present." She beamed at me. "And do not worry, both you and Cyborg have told me about—" she leant in and giggled, "— the knee."

Whew. Good to know. "Oh. Good."

She giggled again. "Come, let us get food. You must be starving."

I was, so I let her pull me away. I still wondered about the conversation she had with Raven and about Raven's odd reaction to my memory loss.

Beast Boy's voice permeated through the door as we neared the kitchen. "Dude, what do you think's gonna happen to Raven if he doesn't remember?"

"Don't know," Cyborg answered. "I'm still gettin' my head around this. Why am I the last to know anythin'?"

Starfire looked at bit panicked. "Friends," she called, even before she reached the door. "Robin and I are starving."

I gave her a sharp look as she pulled me into the kitchen, noting the deer in headlights look both Beast Boy and Cyborg quickly smothered. Something really odd was going on.

It was a few days before Bruce allowed me to return to the Tower. I'd expected a lecture about my behaviour, obviously I'd done something really stupid to wind up in a coma, but he just put me through my paces, commented on what I could be working on and deemed me fit to return to duty. He did give me a brief hug as I left, saying he was grateful I was okay. Will wonders never cease?

The oddness between the other Titans continued whenever they'd visited me at the Manor. Raven was unusually quiet, Beast Boy compensated by being unusually loud. There were odd comments between Beast Boy and Cyborg about how Raven was dealing that Starfire was very quick redirect. There were a few awkward moments between Raven and Beast Boy I didn't understand. Starfire spent a lot of time talking quietly with Beast Boy, too. On occasion, Cyborg's expression would go somewhat hostile and yet helpless at the same time, but he said nothing. I didn't know what to make of any of the odd goings on. Maybe Beast Boy had played a prank on Raven that hadn't worked out like he planned.

I was more than ready to go home. I wanted my room, my bed. I wanted things to go back to normal. But there was this worrying feeling that something had occurred during the last month that should not have been forgotten. And I couldn't put my finger on it.

The Titans held a mini party for me on my return to the Tower. Pizza and cola, Beast Boy and Cyborg wanted to spend the night up playing games. I was just glad I could put my mask on again; I wasn't used to them being able to see my eyes all the time. Raven retired early, Starfire shortly after her. As much as I wanted to pull an all nighter with the boys, I couldn't. I'd been getting mild headaches since I woke and needed more rest than normal. Alfred assured me that would go away.

Bruce told me I'd been after a woman by the name of Dream Catcher. She was a dream twister, shaping dreams and using them to get what she wanted. He couldn't tell me why I wanted her; it just had something to do with what I'd been dreaming. There was this… feeling, I suppose, that all wasn't as it seemed with Dream Catcher, but I couldn't explain why.

Dreams never really interested me before, certainly the dreams I'd had since I woke up seemed lacklustre. But, if I knew myself and I suspected I was being manipulated, I would have documented the dreams. There had to be some sort of record in here to give me a clue why everyone was acting so strange.

There were times when I almost knew. My eyes would drift to Raven and I'd get this little nervous tickle in my stomach and I could feel myself remembering something, a feeling, a fleeting thought, but I couldn't catch it. I sought her out more than normal. I almost asked her about it a dozen different times, but chickened out. I wasn't sure how to bring it up. I would find myself sitting next to her when the five of us watched a movie. Even tonight, I watched her as she said goodnight, and I wished she wouldn't leave.

My bedroom seemed alien to me, somehow. I scanned it with my eyes, sensing that something in here had the answers I was looking for. I switched on my light for a better look, and then walked over to my desk to sort through the papers sitting on it. It seemed an obvious place to look.

There was a knock on the door so quiet I almost missed it. When I answered, Raven meekly stood there.

"Hi," I said, ignoring that funny tickle. I left the door open and headed back to my desk to keep looking. I took a bunch of papers and skimmed through them.

"Erm… I couldn't sleep and I saw the light on and I just wondered… if you needed anything."

I shrugged. "Answers would be nice."

"Answers?"

I placed the papers back on the table. "Yes. I'm missing something." I turned around to survey my room. "It's frustrating," I continued talking, not really knowing why. "It's like, whatever it is, its right there, but I can't reach it." I gestured at Raven. "You can come in, you know."

She took a few steps into my room and stopped as the door closed behind her. "Can I help?"

"Sure," I said, turning back to my desk.

"What exactly are you looking for?"

"Something that doesn't belong. A notepad. Drawings. Something." I went back to sorting papers. I could hear Raven moving around behind me. I hoped she had better luck than I did. I discarded more papers.

"How have your dreams been?" Raven asked quietly.

She'd asked me this several times, I wasn't sure why. I can only assume it had something to do with Dream Catcher. "Fine," I said as I went through my drawers, looked through the files I had stored in my desk. Nothing that I could see to help. "Last night I had a dream I was a toad," I joked.

She gave me a small snort of laughter.

I frowned at my desk. "Raven, did something happen?"

"A lot of things happened," she remarked dryly. "Starfire dated Red Star. Beast Boy dragged me along to Wicked Scary III, I think he was hoping for another haunted house fiasco. Cyborg got a new shipment of parts for his car. Sarah got her exam results, she passed with flying colours, Cyborg took her out to celebrate. Someone ate all my cookie dough ice-cream. Anything in particular?"

My frown deepened. "I'm not sure. I'm missing something. Something really important. I heard what you and Starfire were talking about when I woke up. Everyone's been worried about you and it has something to do with me." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Raven, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about—"

There was a sharp gasp behind me and I swivelled.

Raven was standing beside my bed, staring at a red notebook. I could see it was filled with my handwriting. Raven's eyes were getting wider and wider as she read what I'd written in it.

"Raven?" I asked. "What's that?"

She jumped. She slapped the notepad shut. "No."

I was surprised. "Can I see it?" I asked and walked toward her holding out my hand.

She backed away, clutching the notepad to her chest. "Robin, please."

I followed her. "Raven, that has answers. I need those answers, surely you can understand that."

Her back hit the wall. "You shouldn't remember the dream. Not this one."

_Remember the dream. _Someone else had told me that. I blinked as I remembered a blonde woman smiling at me. We were underwater, her hair billowed above her and she was holding something out to me.

"There has to be another way," Raven was saying. "Not like this. I don't want you to remember like this."

The woman had given me something, something precious and asked me to remember the dream. "A dream catcher."

"What?" Raven whispered.

"There was a woman, we were underwater. She gave me something. A dream catcher. She told me to remember the dream."

Raven dropped the notepad; it fell to the ground with an apologetic thump. She covered her nose and mouth with her hands.

I was confused, something was going on, but I was remembering something else. "We were falling through the sky. You were trying to reach me."

"Robin—"

"You grabbed my hand. You said you were scared. You never meant for any of it to happen and I…" I dropped off, staring at her.

Raven swallowed, pressed against the wall. She stared at me as though she was afraid to move. Her hands drew away from her mouth and curled against her chest.

I was trapped in her eyes. Trapped in memories. Everything was rushing back to me, so fast I barely had time to comprehend it. So many moments and missing moments to sort through. There was really only one thing I could do. So I did it.

I kissed her. Pushed her up against the wall so she was lifted off the ground and I was supporting her weight. I could feel the clean line of our bodies pressed together, our hips, our chests. The heat of our mouths moving as one. Her hands were in my hair, mine were against her ribs.

She gasped as I pulled away to look at her. "You were the dream," I said. "You were the dream I forgot."

Her lips quivered. "Am I the dream you want to remember?"

"Do you still think you can't have feelings for me?"

"No."

"Then you're the dream I want."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16.**

It's not all peaches and cream. Relationships don't just happen. They are a lot of hard work and communications skills are essential. Raven and I don't have a lot of emotional skills, but both of us wanted to start off on the right foot. We still had a lot to talk about, a lot of things to work through.

We sat on my bed opposite each other. I would have liked to say we snuggled, but we didn't. Baby steps. We both had to get used to being in a relationship, and really, it was a big enough leap to go straight to kissing, even if Raven kissed me first.

It had been a breach of trust, in a small sense. Fair enough, Raven believed that I'd only managed to pick up one dream, she hadn't known about the rest. I could accept she hadn't meant for any of this to happen. But there was a fact that she'd hidden them from me, yes dreams are private, I understood, but she'd also led me to believe the first one was my fault, when in reality she did indeed implant it, albeit accidently. I'd had a lot of time to think lately and I wasn't angry anymore.

I wondered if we should even be doing this now. Emotions were high, and high emotions could be a bad thing. "You're alright, right?" I asked Raven. "Nothing going to go boom? I mean, this can wait."

Raven sighed. "It's probably better I face it now," she said. "I mean, I do have to push my own emotional limits, if we're going to try. Right?"

"Yeah, but carefully. There's no point pushing too hard. We can talk in the morning."

"Thank you for the concern," she said. "But it sounds like you're stalling."

"Well, forgive me wanting to go to bed with a dopey grin, rather than some sombre mood."

She snorted. "Maybe after we can put you back in the dopey mood."

I gave her a weak smile. "Raven—"

"Relationships are built around good communication," she said. "So, please, let me try and explain."

I nodded and waited. Raven pressed her fingers together and looked at the triangular shape they made.

"You remember everything from the coma?"

"Almost everything," I answered. "First thing was Alfred saying it was August 9. I remember everything you said when you visited."

"Okay, then you missed the first time I visited."

I lifted my eyebrows in surprise. While I guessed there were visits I couldn't remember, it was interesting that Raven had been one of them. From what Beast Boy said, I thought she'd avoided me completely.

"It was right after we'd rescued everyone from Dream Catcher. After the storm in your mind, I… well… I freaked. I was propelled from your mind and your body was in convulsions. You stopped breathing. Cyborg called an ambulance and was starting CPR. Then Batman swooped in and stole you. He took you away so fast we didn't have time to react. I was… emotional, we all were, so we had to take the T-Ship to the Batcave. He had you hooked up to the machine by then."

I winced.

"I tried to reach you. But there was this… fog… and a sense of emptiness that I couldn't penetrate. Batman practically exploded when I said I couldn't reach you." Raven shuddered.

I reached out and touched her shoulder, concerned. "What'd he do?"

The look she gave me was somewhat haunted. "Not telling," she said. "I went looking for answers. I felt like I had to prove myself, to him, to you, I couldn't fail you again. I couldn't go back until I had the answers. When I realised I cut the cords and essentially destroyed you, I… well… I had to go and apologise, even though I thought you couldn't be there... I didn't realise you were fighting to get out."

I gave her a half hearted smile. "It's okay."

She shook her head. "No, it's not. I left you trapped there. "

"You got me out."

"No, you got yourself out," she said dourly. "I lost you at the surface."

"I never would have been there at all if it wasn't for you," I said, meaning the ocean-sky world of my mind.

Raven, unfortunately, took it the wrong way. "Exactly. You never would have gone after Dream Catcher if it wasn't for me."

My eyes grew wide. "No, Raven—"

"You never would have gotten trapped in her dreams if I hadn't been broadcasting mine. You never would have been in a coma if I hadn't cut the cords of the dream."

"Raven, you didn't know."

She sounded bitter. "I shouldn't be idly toying with my powers like I have been. It nearly cost your life."

"I don't blame you."

"That doesn't make it better."

"I didn't say it to make it better. It's a fact. I don't blame you. I'm fine, you're fine. I had a long time to think while I was stuck. I'm not angry anymore."

"My dreams got you stuck."

"Are you trying to make this harder on yourself?" I asked Raven. "You keep coming back to that."

"It was my fault."

Exasperated, I said, "Okay, it was, let's move on."

Raven looked started. "What?"

"Look, I would have liked you to have told me it was your dreams that I was having. But see, I didn't tell you I was still having them either. It was embarrassing, for both of us. Plus, I did a whole bunch of things wrong too, don't forget that. I went after Dream Catcher, without telling anyone what I was doing. I accidently broke her inhibitor. I allowed myself to become trapped in Dream Catcher's world. That's not your fault."

"But—"

"No buts. Yes, we should have communicated more. We didn't. We paid the price. It's not a mistake either of us will make in the future. If I have any more of those dreams and they last more than one night, I'll come running and explain it in fine detail."

She raised an eyebrow, a tiny little smile formed. "Fine detail?"

"If they involve you, yes." I grinned. "Maybe we can act it out."

She pressed her lips together in a smothered smile, I could tell she took my quip in good grace. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

I smiled, fidgeted for a moment, then said, "So, tell me about this dark desire spell."

Raven sighed and dropped her eyes. "There was a spell in one of my books. It was meant to tap into my subconscious. I'm not sure if I cast it wrong, or it's not supposed to work for someone like me, but the vision it spoke of never came. I tried it for a while, then gave up. When I went to sleep… it was that first dream you had."

"Oh."

She flushed. "I've always… looked up to and respected you. There was always a sense of genuine care between us. But I never thought about you quite like that before." She flushed. "There were… um… idle fancies… but…"

My insides felt funny, I had to grin over that. "Dream Catcher told me dreams often tap into things you would like to happen or have thought about before. If the thought exists, then so can the dream."

Raven frowned. "I meant what I said. It was like you suddenly switched on. Is it because you shared my dream?"

I considered. It was something I'd thought of myself. "I'm not sure. The dream made me think about us in that context, then I couldn't stop… still can't. But, Raven, I was thinking of you that way even when I couldn't remember."

"You were?"

I nodded. "I would look at you and almost know why my heart would pound."

Raven sighed in relief. "Well, that makes me feel better. I hoped you'd come to the realisation yourself, but I couldn't be sure."

"Didn't you check?" I asked, curiously.

She shook her head. "I've been on emotional lockdown. No reading of anyone. I didn't want to influence you."

"I was going to ask you about it tonight. And then you found the notebook."

She blushed deeply and gave me a shy look. "You're quite… meticulous when it comes to documenting things."

I chuckled, embarrassed, and rubbed the back of my neck. "Yeah… Sorry about that."

"I can't imagine what would have happened if you'd found that."

I laughed. "I'd probably have hidden it, not told you and we'd been right back at the beginning. Either that, or it would have prompted me to remember and I'd be pounding on your door. I'm glad you found it, even if there's too much information in there."

"Not unexpected, seeing it was you," Raven said, her tone edged toward teasing. "I liked the diagrams, who knew you could draw so accurately."

"Um… yeah," I rubbed my neck, then my face. "I'm so burning that."

Raven laughed.

I groped for something different to talk about. "Ahh, how long ago did you cast the spell?"

"Obvious topic change," Raven teased and then shrugged. "A couple of months ago. I have no idea why you suddenly started dreaming though."

I pondered. "Might have something to do with all the spells you've been practicing lately. Maybe an increased bond between us was enough to let the dreams slip over."

"Maybe."

We dropped into an uncomfortable silence. I wished we could get back to the silences Raven and I used to have, there were no need for words then. Raven looked everywhere in the room but at me.

"What about Beast Boy?" I asked carefully.

She arched an eyebrow at me. "What about Starfire?" she countered.

"Star's my best friend," I replied. "You know exactly what she means to me. I'm not going to change anything between Star and me."

"And what if I asked you to change it?" she replied. "What if I wasn't happy seeing her hug you all the time?"

"Are you jealous?"

"No, it's Starfire."

"Exactly," I said with a smile.

Raven realised she'd been trapped and rolled her eyes at me. "Okay, fine, point taken."

I touched her upper arm. "You know, you can hug me any time you want."

She smiled. "I'll remember that. Are you jealous of Beast Boy?"

"Immensely."

Her jaw dropped open. "Why?"

"He got to take you on dates," I said. "You chose him over me."

She paled. "I… I…"

"And, well, I only know what I was heard while you were around me. He knew I was there. He helped figure out a way to communicate."

Raven looked surprised. "Really?"

"I think we underestimate him sometimes."

"Maybe." She sighed. "Robin…"

"Did you break up?"

Raven hunched her shoulders. "Yes. It was sort of mutual. I think we could have made it work, if… well," she gestured us, "this wasn't happening at the same time. Cyborg wasn't too happy. Beast Boy and I decided to tell him together, seeing how mad he got at you over Starfire. He was angry, but I don't think he could figure out just who he was mad at. He thought I'd been using Beast Boy, or Beast Boy had been using me. He was angry at you too; I only know that because I read him, he tried to hide it. He glared a lot. Beast Boy basically told him that it was mutual and Cyborg needed to accept that. Cyborg's come around now though; I guess he's just happy you're okay. "

"Oh."

Raven sighed. "I'm sorry about Beast Boy."

"Don't be. A few months ago I would have been cheering him on." I thought about mentioning that Beast Boy hurried to ask Raven out before he was ready because he found out I liked Raven too, but I felt that would cheapen Beast Boy's efforts.

"Why?" Raven asked.

"Because he's my friend." I sighed. "We're going to have to be careful around him for a while."

"I know. He has every right to hate me."

"But he doesn't. I won't say he's not hurt by all this, but if we give him time, and space… well… Shall we set some ground rules?"

Raven nodded. "I… would prefer we didn't kiss in public."

"Me too," I said. "Kissing's a private thing. I'm not about to throw my arm around you in public either. Unless you want me to," I added hastily.

Raven reached across the distance between us and took my hand. "This is okay," she said and gave me one of her quiet smiles.

I squeezed her hand. "Good." I liked the ways smiled at me, it made me feel all warm inside, and because I could, I leant in and kissed her.

Well, that was all the serious talking we did for the night. We lay side by side on my bed and talked some more in between kisses. By the way, Raven looks delicious with bedroom hair, but I don't bore you with the details. There may have been a blown light bulb or two. I fell asleep at some stage; my body was still stressed and needed its rest. Raven was still there in the morning, curled up by my side. That was kind of nice.

Neither of us did anything different the next day. We wanted to take things slow and see where they headed. We acted like we normally would. We didn't even arrive in the common room at the same time, Raven went there first for her normal cup of tea and I arrived after doing about an hour of paperwork.

Starfire knew. She was squealing within moments of me walking into the common room. She managed to get both of us in one of her bear hugs and squashed us together.

So of course we had to tell them that I remembered. Seems they'd been waiting for it.

Cyborg nodded and uttered, "Well, alright then." Followed by his, "If you hurt her, I'll kill you," speech that he's been practicing for Starfire's dates.

Beast Boy surprised us though, and I think he surprised himself. He rushed over and demanded that I tell him how I controlled my heart like that. "It was wicked, dude! Like straight outta the movies! You were all like _bababa, ba-dump_, _ba-dump_, _ba-dump_, _bababa_, and Raven went all swoopy and vanished and then you were shooting up outta the bed, and, dude, you're _such_ a drama queen!"

I had to laugh at that.

Beast Boy grinned. "I've wanted to say that all for day. DAYS! Dude, do you know how hard it was for me to sit on a something like that? Why couldn't you have figured all that out sooner! Raven, you should've smacked some sense into him, for my sake."

Raven barely hid her surprise. "I'll remember that next time."

"You do that," he said and offered a weak smile. "And… um… congrats and all that junk."

"Thank you."

Beast Boy didn't have anything to say after that, he just stood there a little awkwardly until Cyborg intervened, announcing it was time for a movie. Starfire squealed excitedly, dragged me over to the sofa and plopped down on it. Beast Boy headed to the kitchen for some popcorn for us all, Raven went to make some tea, I heard them making small talk in the kitchen.

Raven floated drinks over for us all. Starfire bubbled happily beside me and hid behind my cape in the scary parts. Cyborg readied his "boo-yah's" for the action sections. Beast Boy threw popcorn at the screen in a bit he didn't like. Everything was just like normal.

Except for one thing. When Raven sat down beside me with her cup of tea and kicked off her shoes to get comfortable, she took my hand.

And that's it, really. That's our story. I could go on and tell you about our dates, the ins and outs of our relationship, but I won't. Some things are just between Raven and me.

Raven and I are taking things slow. We're dating and trying to do things normal couples would. We're also doing things abnormally too, because that's who we are. Sometimes she blows things up. The last thing was the TV screen and Beast Boy was most unimpressed. Sometimes Raven can't handle what she feels and has to be by herself for a while, and I know I need to back off and just let her be. She talks to me when she's ready, or Starfire if she feels she can't.

Sometimes I get too obsessed over criminals and Raven doesn't know what to do, but that's what we have Starfire for. My girlfriend and my best friend make a formidable team. Kinda scary when you think about it, especially now Starfire's teaching Raven how to 'deal' with me. Sometimes I get too passionate for her and she has to tell me to slow down. We're working on finding a balance.

I visit Dream Catcher's memorial plaque occasionally. Batman never found her body but I know she's alive in the dream. There are times that I see her, flitting around the edges of mine, but it's normally just to say she's doing fine. Her friends at the retirement home are doing well too. There've been reports from children of apparitions of loved ones in dreams but no one takes much notice. Personally, I think it's nice that Henry's great grandkids can hear him read them stories in the dream. I check in with them all from time to time.

Currently, Starfire's dating a guy by the name of Franklin. She met him through Sarah's school and they seem to be doing alright. Sarah said he was nice but Cyborg, Beast Boy and I are keeping a close eye on him anyway. That's what brothers do.

Cyborg's still with Sarah and I've never seen a more lovey-dovey couple. It's fun to tease him about it. She's really in tune with him, which is good to see. He needs someone like that in his life.

Beast Boy's doing better. Lately he's been gushing about a girl called Jillian he met at the comic store. He and Raven have started talking together again, properly like they used to, so I think we'll be alright. Which is good, because Raven missed Beast Boy's jokes. Don't tell him I said that.

So, that's my story of how my dreams about Raven almost killed me, but in the end they made me, us, stronger. There's no real happily ever after ending. Not really. There's a nice ending, but everything's ongoing. That's life. Things are bound to change, but you know what? I like where I am. I have an amazing girlfriend, an amazing best friend, and two great guy friends I couldn't do without.

After all, we were all friends first, and that's what the Titans are really all about.

**

* * *

_A/N._**_ Well, I must say this was a very interesting exercise. I got to practice a new and very fascinating style of writing and saw the Titans from the other side of the sail._

_'Dreams' is a onetime only deal. There won't be any more stories from me. I'm sorry to those of you who asked._

_Thanks for the challenge, you know who you are._

_As always, thanks for reading._

_-Blaise._


End file.
